Ikigai

Pondered

He always wondered when he was a child that when he becomes an adult, would he find too a love like his parents had? Or better at all? A pair where he could talk his innermost thoughts without feeling afraid of being judged by others because you know the two of you just connect in ways others can't to you.

A day where you always look forward to waking up knowing she is right there beside you, sleeping peacefully. A time where people would be jealous of the relationship you guys have because it all seems so perfect. An ideal one.

He looks forward to calling someone his because that's just the way it is. The days where they'd fight and make up because that's what couples do but they won't break up because their love for one another is eternal. Unbreakable.

He always looked forward to the future. To that faithful day. To the day where he'd meet the love of his life, and so he kept on wishful thinking. But then, he grew up.

It wasn't anything he had hope for. There were bigger things out in the world than just looking for that said love that he'd been hoping to find. No. It was much more complicated. Being an adult was not easy as it seems to be. There were tons of responsibilities.

He drowned himself of obligations which he needed to do firsthand, and soon the so-called "love" left his mind completely. Gone. Vanished. Disappeared.

The guy who was once filled with passion and dreams and hopes was now slowly becoming robot-like. A person who is now only surviving to see another day rot. He wasn't living. He soon realized what he was becoming and thought that maybe being a kid wasn't so bad after all.

And then it happened. The day he'd been waiting when he was still a child. He hadn't noticed it at first because he was so pre-occupied with many things. But gradually he did. It changed his world. The now robot-like guy was slowly becoming human again.

He was slowly returning to his old self just because of this one particular person who made his world better. All the questions he had when he was a kid were answered. It wasn't perfect, but he felt at home. This is the place he wants to be in. Forever. The picture-moment happened. The person who'd knocked him off his feet, and when she did, his decisions were final. It was her. It was her who he'd like to share his thoughts, fears, dreams, and everything especially the days that he'd live on this earth. It was her. Period.

He pondered what it meant to fall in love when he was a child, but after he saw her, he realized, there is no falling at all. There is just being.