Haikyuu Head canons

Im not a Stripper... ~ Oitani

Kyōtani's P.o.v

"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!!!!!!" The entire room chanted as I downed my third bottle. Tonight's a night to celebrate. Somehow I aced my finals and tonight I turn 21. My roommates convinced me to have a party. I left everything to them.

The only thing I should have to do is show up and get drunk. So that's what I'm doing. The parties okay aside for the 100 strangers in my house. Actually I don't really care as long as no one pisses me off.

   I'll admit the party's okay for the most part. The strippers are definitely a tasteful addition. There are about 5 of them, at least that's how many I encountered before going back to drinking.

   The music was so loud I couldn't hear myself think. It could be heard through the entire block no doubt. Again not something I care about. I really wasn't expecting to actually enjoy this party, I was convinced I'd be fed up within minutes. Yet here we are hours in and I've never felt better.

   Someone was kicking the back of my ankle. I only know one person that does that stupid shit... Turning around it was just as I thought. Kunimi stood there a drink in hand while running his other hand through his hair.

   "I thought I told you to stop fucking doing that, your dirtying my pants." I said sucking my teeth. He simply rolled his eyes while pulling keys out of his pocket.

   "Oh sorry would you of rathered I not return your car?" He said dangling the keys in my face. I snatched them grinning wide.

   "Your fucking with me. You picked up my car?!" I questioned and he nodded his head. Basically, like a couple weeks ago Maki and Iwaizumi borrowed my car to run errands and the fuckers totaled my baby.

   Okay maybe not totaled... but they hit two parked cars and my bumper came clean off. They messed up my damn paint job and somehow dented it... To say the least my car was pretty banged up. Never again will I let Hanamaki Takahiro sit in the drivers seat of my car. Iwaizumi's not off the hook either, the fucker probably started tickling him while he was driving.

   I might not even let them sit in the car, they'd probably make me crash with their presence alone...

   I sped towards the front door seeing as Kunimi had already walked off having finished his task. It's not like we ever had long conversations considering he doesn't talk much, so I don't really care.

   I got outside and sure enough there my baby was parked in the drive way. Unlocking the door I slipped inside and it took me a second before I noticed. They hadn't just taken care of the damages they'd upholstered it.

   I'd been talking about upholstering it since I got her two years ago. There was a sticky note on the dashboard. 'Happy birthday fucker, check the glove compartment. The dumbasses chipped in on your... present?'

   Does that mean it's not a present? I mean getting my car was enough of a present considering I didn't want any presents. I likely let them sit in a closet somewhere and collect dust.

   I opened the glove compartment and there was a dog tag, a picture, and an envelope. I opened the envelope and there was a sizable amount of money and a note. "Well we weren't really planning on getting you a dog. We all kinda just dropped some money on you since no one knows what the hell you like.

   That being said Iwaizumi assumed you'd like the dog so he got you a rescue. Count the money yourself I've already done a considerable amount of work. ~ Kunimi " On the back of the note there were a bunch of signatures and a large happy birthday.

   Corny... Anyways I swear to god if that fucker got me a dog simply because of my name and the nickname they created for me in high school, I'm gonna kick him in the balls.