everything i didn't say | jeong yunho

one.

"please don't do this hana. please give us a chance. you can't just give up like that," he pleads.

"i'm sorry yunho, but it's for the best. i've thought about it for a really long time. it was really hard for me to make this decision, but we both know it's the best for both of us."

"did you really lose feelings for me? is that what this is?"

"no! don't be ridiculous."

"then why give up? didn't we agree that we would wait for each other?"

"i'm sorry, but the pain has become too much for the both of us to bear. we're both busy with college, and ever since i started having to work two jobs, we barely have time to talk to each other," she breathed. she wasn't crying, because she was sure that she was making the right decision. but her heart has never felt heavier. "you deserve to be with someone who can be there with you physically, yunho."

"i don't care! i don't want it to be with anyone if it's not you, hanabi."

she couldn't do this anymore. she couldn't bear having to hear the boy she loves cry anymore. she knows that she's going to change her mind if she stayed on the call longer.

"i'm sorry, but i've made up my mind. it's really better this way. i wish you all the best, and i hope you find someone who can treat you way better than i ever could," she closed her eyes and took a deep, heavy breath, a breath she's been holding unknowingly.

unfortunately, he knows how stubborn she is and that she has strong opinions. once she makes a decision, no one would be able to make her change her mind. he knows her all too well, and he hated that she wouldn't listen to him when he's desperately trying to make things work. it's like she's giving up so easily.

it's true, they barely had any time together. they were together for more than a year. they've been good friends in high school and eventually became lovers. but things are different now. once they graduated high school, they had more time together, but it didn't last.

she had to move back to japan, her hometown. she moved to korea on her own but now her parents wanted her to enrol in a college in japan.

at first it was fine. they were still in a very strong, healthy relationship even if it's long distance. but after 5 months, it got unbearable. he wouldn't admit it, but she could tell.

she mentioned that she needed to work two jobs because her father is very sick. because of both their busy schedules, their time together were shortened overtime. they used to be able to text and call everyday, but slowly they got busier with their own things.

things weren't looking up for her at all. she knew that she wouldn't be able to go back to korea. even with him assuring her countless amounts of time that he'll wait for her, she knows that the distance is too unbearable.

it didn't feel real. not being able to hold the person you love. not being able to meet them. she knew she had a boyfriend, but she felt lonely. the harsh reality was that she had no one else. she knew she had him, he'll always be there for her, but she didn't think that she was fit enough to do long distance relationship anymore.

and she knew that he felt the same way. he must've felt lonely too. having a lover so far away. he needed someone he could physically depend on. and so she thought that this decision was the best for the both of them.

she felt more guilty as the days passed after the break up. they no longer contacted each other anymore, and she was trying to get used to it. she occasionally thinks about him, but she knows that she has to move on. she honestly thought it would be easy for her since she was the one who initiated the break up. unfortunately for her, it wasn't.

she couldn't stop thinking about how much pain he felt and had to go through because of her. she knows that he truly loves and care about her, but she was just persistent. her heart keeps stinging at the thought of their last phone call.

but then it happened. something she thought wouldn't happen. after about 2 weeks into the breakup, she discovered through their mutual friends that yunho had found another girlfriend.

she understands that he deserves to move on, even she wants that for him. but she felt like it was unfair on a certain level. there's no way it could possibly take him 2 weeks to get over a relationship that lasted for almost 2 years.

but everyone was different. maybe yunho is the type to get over someone quickly.

but they were each other's first love. hanabi felt weak, and so she started crying. she hated how much she cried upon the discovery. she wanted him to move on, so why was she crying?

it took her months to accept it and let it go. it took her a long time, but she was proud of her progress. because she could finally wish for nothing but the best for them. she was happy that he's happy. it's what he deserves. yunho's a good guy who deserves nothing but happiness, and hanabi would never change her mind about that.