Suddenly

Suddenly Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Addicted to it

School resumed the next day and I was dog tired, I hadn't gotten any sleep the night before. I was still on a high, my body felt alive and it refused to let me get any rest. My muscle memory was still holding fast to BE's soft beautiful body. I hadn't minded not sleeping, it wasn't the first time that I had lost sleep over BE. I replayed every minute with her, the dance, the feeling of her holding me, her scent and her breath on my neck. I stared at the wall clock in my room every few minutes, I don't know which was worse, counting the minutes to sunrise or not falling asleep. I couldn't wait to see her at school the next morning. 

I hoped to see her and continue from where we left things the night before, I was hoping to speak to her and talk things over. We had gotten closer these past few days, closer than we'd ever been before and it felt inexplicably good. I knew it wasn't my imagination this time, i was there, she held me, she danced with me, me and nobody else, she chose me, that had to mean something. 

She walked in with her bag on her beautiful shoulder. It's that shoulder that my lips kissed the night before. I was poised, seated on the stairway, a nervous sensation engulfed me as I watched her take her steps toward our class.

She glanced towards me, we smiled at each other for a moment. I was slow perhaps; slow to get off the blocks just as I was at the 100 meter sprints. I hadn't a clue as to what to do or what to say, the inexperience was evident and I was drowning in it. Her expectations had possibly been high, maybe she wanted a hug or a kiss on the cheek but I was unsure of what to do. I was scared to be honest, scared that she'd reject my advances. I needed her to reassure me that she wanted me to talk to her, that she wanted me near her.

She huddled with her female friends and I watched them giggle and partake in idle chit chat, she looked my way a few times as I did hers. It appeared that she reveled in this cat and mouse game whereby I would chase her, she seemed to like the thrill and anticipation of playing hard to get. I was stuck in a bad re-run of the past months to a year.

Education wasn't a key focus area that day, teachers and students alike were all in a celebratory mood after the nights' events. There were cheers of happiness and catered food being ushered in the staff room for the teachers to indulge in. Us students were drinking sodas and eating our lunch at our favorite hangout spots trying to pass the time in the midday sun outside.

Groups of kids were canoodling everywhere, on stairways, sitting under trees, standing at the school tuck shop. The word on everyone's lips was about agendas that were not pertaining to the intensity of last nights' dance. Was I the only person that felt overwhelmed by the emotional roller coaster I experienced dancing with BE? Hadn't there been other couples or near love moments that others felt?

To me, the world stood still on its axis, the universe as we know it stopped just so BE and I could have that special dance. It was everything to me, I was on a trip, a mighty rushing ride made just for me, this feeling didn't want to go away, and it made me feel so good. It dawned on me, BE showed me what love truly felt like, and now, I was addicted to it.

I needed my next high and I needed it now. I walked over to her posse hoping to steal her away, I said hello to everyone and made eye contact with her. My shoulders touching hers, I asked her how she was. The other girls continued conversing to each other whilst BE and I disappeared into a world of our own.

"I had a really good time last night" she said, I smiled back and shyly said "as did I". "I have never danced with a guy before and I have never let a guy get that close to me", "So why did you allow me to get so close?' I asked. "Well, why not?"

The sunlight lit up her eyes as it streamed through the crevices of the curved branches and the droplet shaped leaves of the tree under which were at. We were at a good place, not just literally but emotionally too. 

We sat on the wall, side by side, our hands resting on the wall, our fingers dared to touch. We remained there in that moment for a while, sweet stares and little smiles and small talk. She made me nervous like no one else could ever do, but she was also soothing in the most calming manner. We spoke about life after school and what we were thinking of doing for our careers after high school. She was directed and very career orientated and I was fumbling with my future plans. There was so much ahead of us and so much to do for us to achieve what we were planning, especially on my end, I wasn't as settled on what I was going to become. 

Maybe if i focused more on my studies at school BE would realize that I am a hot commodity and a person who has everything mapped out. I had to get my mind clued up on school and what school was offering me.