Suddenly

Suddenly Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty Seven

Pierced my Soul

We helped each other clean up, I washed the dishes and she wiped them down. The tension was building between us. I could feel the air thickening as the seconds ticked away.

"So, tell me, is there someone special in your life?" I inquired hesitantly. After a silent pause for a second she said the words that would change the rest of my life. It was a suddenly moment that I knew would be the basis of everything as I knew it.

"Yes there is someone special in my life and it's because of him I am the woman I am today. He believed in me when I didn't and he gave me belief that I thought I never had" she said confidently."

It hurt me to hear her talk about another guy like she did, I thought I had gotten over this but I guess I hadn't.

"Sounds like a great guy" I said as I tried to hide my true feelings.

"Great doesn't begin to describe how amazing he is" she said.

Hearing her boastfully describe him made me think that she was only here to show off her boyfriend and rub it in that he was a way better choice than me.

As she rambled away about him it brought back painful memories of her throwing me away, maybe now she was right by letting me go, she had her perfect guy after all.

"This guy that has kept me on the right path, this guy that's been my motivation, this guy that's been my strength, he's really special" she said with her sweet soft voice.

"So when am I going to see this prince of yours" I asked.

"This prince is you!" she answered.

My back was facing her as I packed away the dishes into the cupboard. I was too afraid to face her, I was afraid that she would see the blunt emotion on my face, she would know how I felt if she caught a glimpse of me.

I walked into the living room and pretended to check up on Evana. BE stood rooted in the kitchen, motionless, I could see he in the corner of my eye. She was hoping for some sort of reaction from me but I didn't know the right way to react; besides she didn't deserve a reaction.

The truth is, my heart was pounding so hard I could hear it. Why did she say that? It was unfair for her to say that to me. I deserved to have her say that to me many years ago.

I had to do something to defuse the situation. I felt the sweat drip down my forehead as I held the bomb in my hands; peoples' lives were at stake, I had to cut the right color wire to defuse this.

"So what's for dessert?" I asked.

"Well I brought your favorite, peppermint tart!" she replied.

She gave me two scoops and she took some for herself as well. We sat on the brown leather couch as the TV played in front of us. On TV was a rerun of a romantic movie and the scene wasn't helping my situation in the least bit. The guy and girl in the box were dancing closely, and he whispered to her that he loved her.

At that moment BE turned to me and our eyes lost each other. I found myself losing grip of everything as I drifted into the ocean of her brown eyes. She pierced my soul deep with her stare.

The stare drew us closer, the surrounding disappeared, and all I could see was her. I had never felt as nervous as I did at that second. As we leaned in closer, I turned away and got up off the couch and took my dessert bowl to the kitchen.

The atmosphere became awkward and BE said, "it's getting a bit late, the rain has cleared, I should go."

She got up, took her coat and walked out through the front door. I was more confused now more than ever. I held the edge of the kitchen sink and began to sob, these tears were a product of everything I had been through, from the heart break of losing BE all those years ago to the pain of losing Havana.

Crying uncontrollably I fell onto the kitchen floor and began to speak to the Heavens saying "God, what's going on? Why did you take Havana? Why did you bring BE back into my life? Please help me Father; I really need your help right now"

The emotions running through me were overwhelming. It was a good agony, the good parts were having BE back and the agonizing parts were about losing my love Havana.

I needed superior advice, from a supreme being of great wisdom, I needed my dad. So I called him up and asked him if we could go out for lunch the next day, he agreed as long as we ate at a place of his choice.

That morning I dropped Evana off with my mum and dad and I went to a local fish and chips place near the bay. We sat and began to talk as we munched away on the tastiest fish and chips in the land.

Dad and I got to talking and he began to fill me with this overflowing wisdom that I knew only dad could. He started to tell me about life and how precious it was, he started to tell me that God has already mapped out our lives and that God has already written the book of our lives, it's our job to speak these things into life and accept them.

"Son, sometimes God steps in and He hands us these suddenly moments that completely rock our boat, He has these twists and turns that give us a second chance or maybe even steers us in a direction that we had never thought we would ever be on. The point I'm trying to make is that, God is so good, and He will never take you to a place that He hasn't already prepared you for, a place made only for you. This is your race son, run it as best as you can, knowing that every step you take is already been prepared for you. Whatever you do, pray, pray and ask God for the doors to open, for His plan to unfold in your life. Give up all control to Him and you'll see, everything will work out better than you could have ever imagined"

Hearing my dad speak gave me hope, hope and faith that I had almost lost after losing Havana. I loved my dad and I was so grateful to have him with me, he was a treasure.