Suddenly

Suddenly Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

The Blur

School was supposed to be about me getting an education and excelling academically but it was easier said than done. The sticky web of romance had gotten me trapped and I was losing sight of my purpose. My grades were dropping fast and I hadn't been at my optimum in a really long time. A few years ago I would have never pinned me for being a romantic, but I was and BE was consuming me from the inside out.

I used to be the boy that boys wanted to be and girls wanted to be with. I was an above average athlete and at the top of my class in all the academic aspects. But my distractions with BE kept me from getting back to my normal self. The final exam was looming and I had to do my best if I wanted to further my education at a university level.

Back at home we were an average family and we didn't have extra money put away for my studies. I was the firstborn and it was my responsibility to change the financial status and quality of life for my family. There was no possible way for me to pay for my university fee. So dad had got me financial aid through the industrial company in which he worked at. I had it all figured out. A simple IQ test and passing with a good grade average in the final exam would ensure me securing my spot in one of the prestigious technical drawing institutes of our state. I was going to study graphic design in architecture, drawing was something I enjoyed doing in my spare time and I was hoping to make a career out of it.

Days, weeks and months started to feel like a blur and I was doing my best to get studying done for the finals. All my friends, including BE were focused on the objective of exam preparations. I couldn't get down to bringing myself to study. I seemed like a lost puppy looking for his way home.

My future hinged on me doing well on this exam. It had been twelve long years of school and it all boiled down to this final exam. All the hard work and many hours of school that had gone by had climaxed to this moment. It was crunch time!

We were on our study breaks and gearing up to take our first test of the month long exam. My books were scattered all over my bed. I would fall asleep waking up to sticky notes stuck on my face. I found myself doodling her face in my study notes. My focus drifted to her so often, it was becoming extremely difficult to study.

It was a Friday afternoon and I had taken a much needed break from my books. I had just gotten home from a beautiful game of soccer with dad and the boys. Mum made her Friday special, oven roast with potato bake, it was one of my favorites. Our little brother Jesse was ill with chicken pox and he wasn't his usual chirpy self. We tried our best to cheer him up and comfort him. That Friday night would change the course of my life entirely.

The next morning the sun stole the night as it crept in through the curtains and I rolled out of bed like I had done a million times before on the weekend. I looked myself in the mirror and I was horrified at what I saw. I was covered with chicken pox; somehow I had gotten it from Jesse. It wasn't just me; Reece had gotten it as well.

It was unexpected and frankly uncomfortable. We were house bond for a week or so, until the chicken pox phased away. Reece and I hadn't ever missed Sunday Church but this was going to be our first. Church wasn't the biggest of our problems.

The finals were scheduled to start that Monday with the first test. It was Math. My chicken pox situation wouldn't allow me to write that paper. This would translate into my grades dropping which meant that I would lose my financial aid for university and ultimately my spot for the architecture course. That Monday had arrived and the house landline rung off the hook. The principal of my high school was calling to ask about me, I wasn't at school and the exam was about to start. Mum explained to him that I had contracted chicken pox and I weren't able to write that paper.

He was a true gentleman; he wished me a speedy recovery and would inform my homeroom teacher. I started healing after a week of suffering. The chicken pox scarred me terribly which left me at a total loss of self esteem. I returned to school for my second test. I was itchy and out of my comfort zone but I studied all through that past week. My destiny was at stake, I knew this was just my journey and I had to take the heat. I had to fight for this, I had to be uncommon and swim upstream if I wanted to pass the rest of my tests. Even a dead fish is able to flow downstream, I couldn't go with the flow, I needed to swim up!

BE came over to talk to me, I was afraid that she'd see my beastly scars and be horrified. She surprisingly didn't care about my facial issues; she asked me how I was and wished me all of the best for the test. I wrote my paper and rushed off home as soon as I finished, I didn't want anyone seeing me and my crated face.

Soon enough six weeks had past and the finals were over. The results of the exam would be published in the local newspaper for the community to see, or not see. Your name would appear in the paper along with the results of each paper stating if you'd passed or failed. It was a public display of success or failure.

On the morning of the release of the results I went to the local supermarket to purchase the newspaper. To my relief my name was in it but I hadn't achieved the grade I was hoping for, the chicken pox had robbed me of receiving the grade which would qualify me for financial aid or a spot in university. My life came crumbling down in an instant. My dreams to study at a tertiary level wasn't going to come to pass, I was lost!

A few days later my dad's car was stolen from our home. Dad took to the bottle to sooth his loss. It was a time of my life that I remember to forget. The blazing summer heat ebbed my skin as I walked over to see BE, she had attained a really good grade in her finals and she secured her spot in the best university. I needed to see her face and talk to her. I was desperate for her smile, for her to make my sadness disappear.

I had arrived at her porch and spoke to her mum, her mum said that she wasn't at home and that I should come back at another time. The next day I went over again with much hope of seeing her, I met her mum at their porch and her mum told me that she wasn't at home and that I should probably come back some other time.

I had walked that route many times that week, walking to BE's home, with hope of seeing her but her mum turned me away every time. One afternoon after talking to her mum, I decided to rest at the bus shelter close to their home and that when I saw BE sitting in the back seat of their car as they drove off. I was shattered and broken beyond words. I walked home that evening with tears streaming down my face.

When I got home my mum sat me down and told me that BE's mum had called, she said that her mum had asked that I never come over again, that I leave her daughter alone. That night I went to my room and cried myself to sleep, my pillow was the only comfort I had.

I was a strong believer of God and I knew that if I asked Him for anything and believed, He would give it to me. I remembered me praying as a five year old boy asking God for a trophy and I remembered how He gave me my dreams.

The next morning I dropped to my knees and began to pray earnestly, "God, I love you and I promise if you give BE to me I will let the world know about your great love"