Amaranth

Chapter 30: Red Tulip

First, I want to apologize for this LATE update. I was meant to update last weekend, but a friend of mine spent the weekend at my house and I couldn't find the time. Then, I planned to write over the week, but my teacher's said, "surprise mother fucker, you have end of the year tests after spring break (in two weeks)" Anyway, I've been doing a lot of work and preparing, but I'm glad I could finally sat down and write. I think I've said it before but writing is kind of my safe haven, so it's nice to finally let out some steam. Because I've been stressed lately, I tried to write a fluffy chapter, so I hope you all enjoyed. 

Also, this chapter makes 300 pages on this story! I want to thank everyone who's taken the time to read this because DAMN 300 pages is a lot LMAO. I appreciate all of you <3

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'I love you' the thought was unsettling. All my life, the only thing I wanted was to not fade away, to be loved. However, it's been a long time since I've loved someone. I love Carla, Grisha, Eren, and even Armin, but I never imagined I'd love anyone else, Mikasa thought to herself, There's also those I loved in the past, my mom, my dad, and Eternity, and all of them are dead or resent me now. It's funny how love works like that. I wonder, if I told Annie I loved her, would she come to resent me?

It's a dumb question, really. Anyone looking in from the outside could easily tell that Annie loved Mikasa just as much, maybe even more, than Mikasa loved her. Both girl's would deny their love for each other, but they couldn't hide the small things that gave away the truth.

The slight flinch of their hands when they were near each other, the soft smile they'd both get, the look in their eyes when their eyes connect; all of them were dead giveaways that their feelings were mutual.

Still, both of them have things holding them back. Mikasa worries that everyone she loves will only be hurt by doing so, and she's afraid that Annie will eventually stop loving her. Annie is afraid of doing the wrong thing, and she's terrified of turning into her mother where she no longer has complete control of her actions.

So, they've come to this kind of emotional stalemate where neither can make a move. Both are deathly afraid of rejection, and even if they weren't rejected, there's the fear that everything will go sideways once they're honest.
"You alright?" Annie asked while craning her neck to look at Mikasa's face.

"I'm fine," Mikasa assured her with a bright smile. "Now go put your shirt on," Mikasa said with a laugh while pushing the blonde off of her.

"Pfft," Annie huffed with a pout, "You're no fun."

"Hmm?" Mikasa asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

"Don't 'hmmm' m-" Annie said sassily only to be cut off by a sweet kiss from Mikasa.

"See, I can be fun," Mikasa smirked while running a finger over Annie's abs.

Annie scowled slightly at Mikasa's dominance, not used to her being so bold. "Damn you, Ackerman," Annie huffed, and Mikasa laughed with a bright smile.

Annie was the first one she told about wanting to legally change her name back to Ackerman. Annie understood that it took a lot of courage and thought, and of course, she was supportive. However, it was the first time Annie had ever said her last name in such a way, and it made her more happy than she'd like to admit.

Annie slowly sauntered to where she left her shirt and slowly put it on. "Are you done training?" Mikasa asked.

"Not quite," Annie said with a smirk.

"Oh, okay," Mikasa said while sitting back down and grabbing her book.

Annie huffed slightly while walking to her girlfriend. She grabbed the book from the girl's hand and put it to the side before finally saying, "You're so dense. Get up."