Drowning in You

-3-

Here we go guys! Chapter 3...

Two red lines.
TWO.
Anyone with half a brain cell knows that that meant.

Single mum... Pregnant. Again.
Fuck.

Didn't we use a condom?
I just can't remember... Everything from that night was foggy apart from Nick's face. The way his eyes bore into mine, the way he groaned when I raised my hips to meet his... The way he bit his lip as he...

I had to shake my head to clear the erotic thoughts from my thought processes.
"Ok, don't panic Harper. It's all good... We can deal with this. You're only a few weeks gone." I murmured, coaching myself, trying to deal with the impending panic attack.

"Deal with what?" I found myself muttering under my breath, "I'm not dealing with anything. If I couldn't abort Violet, I can't abort baby no-name here." I rested my hand flat on my stomach, and bit myself, smiling. And something that made me want to high five myself in the face occurs.

Nick Adonis Sex God was the father.
Well of course there's nobody else. I was pretty much celibate before that night with Nick. Well I was a one woman show... My right hand and my best friend, my rampant rabbit. We got on very well...

What am I supposed to do?
Tell Nick? Whose surname I do not know.
Or do this on my own?
Is that the right thing to do?
If it is, then why do I feel so guilty?

Slumping on the sofa, I hid my head in my hands and whimpered.
I love this baby already, that much I know... But to do it alone? Now that is scaring the shit out of me.

Yes I'm single, yes I have a daughter, but Violet's dad- Dean is an active part of her life; he supports me and our daughter. Not only that, but he's one of my best friends.
Shit boyfriend, shit at anything in the relationship department but a brilliant friend, and he is always there when I need him.
But would he support me, stand by me as my friend and as Violet's father while I'm pregnant with another man's baby? Yeah, I think not.

So, I would be completely on my own when it comes to this baby. Could I handle it?

Heart racing, hands sweating, head spinning...
Anxiety attack...
The tears finally plummeted and what's more, I allowed them too.
Maybe if I let them out, give into the overwhelming emotion, I can pick myself up and get to grips with this new edition.

So I surrender; curling into a ball and sob into the sofa cushions until there are no tears left. Until all that is left are painful heaves forcing their way from my chest. Until I'm staring up at the ceiling, trying to figure out a way through this.

And formulate a plan.