Drowning in You

-6-

"Harper... What a surprise it is to see you again." His voice smooth like butter, his eyes taking me in as though he's trying to read me.
I'm not a book.
"I could say the same," I utter, and walk, trying to pass him. Only Nick's arm shoots out and curls around my waist, pulling me into his body. I couldn't help the gasp that left my lips; the feel of him against me still affected me exactly how it did that fateful night.

"Don't tell me you don't feel that Harper. Your body reacts to me just as mine does to you..." His thumb traces over the side of my hip where my maternity shirt had ridden up; his touch turned me to putty in his hands. I missed his touch, "and that make me wonder why you never replied. Why you never returned my calls, texts... What did I do that made you run?"

I couldn't help but shake my head, trying to clear his words, his scent, the feel of him from my head. I needed to concentrate but he wasn't letting me. The proximity was controlling me, and I hated what he could do to my body.

Deciding to fight what my body wanted, I wrenched myself away from him.
"It was one night, Nick. That's all it was. You know that, I know that. I just ensured that's all it ever would be. You don't want me. You're just trying to believe something different." Being away from his hands physically hurt... His touch soothed the pelvic pain, the exhaustion, every ache and pain, but I couldn't let my body's reactions win.

"I don't want you? Are you serious?" He looked at me in shock -like I'd grown two extra heads and a tail- and ran his fingers through his hair, "why would you think that? Did I say I didn't want you? Did I say I wanted only one night with you? Or did I ask for your number? Repeatedly try to get in contact with you to ask you on a date? Try to show you I wanted you?"

I felt so confused upon hearing this. I had to get out of here.
He's a player. A ladies man. It was there in his actions, his words, his smooth flirty ways.
I wasn't going to let myself get hurt again. Dean was enough, Nick wouldn't do that to me too.

"And now you're pregnant!" Nick carried on, "with twins. And it's obvious they're mine. I know they're mine. They have to be mine."
The tears began to make themselves known again, sliding down my cheeks like waterfalls. I couldn't hold it in.
I had held in my tears for 29 weeks. 29 long weeks where I held myself together and fought the overwhelming emotions filling me every day. And now I'd let a single tear slip, they were coming, hard and fast.

Nick doesn't know what he's saying, or thinking. He's young and carefree. I don't want him resenting me for ruining his life. I don't want him hating the babies for it either.
They don't deserve that. They've done nothing wrong.

"Nick, please. You don't want this. You're young, free and single. I'm ready for this. I've already got a daughter- I know what I'm doing. Don't bury yourself in nappies and vomit and night feeds. I don't want you to hate me, or resent the babies for ruining your life," the words start pouring from my lips, all the while, tears thundering off my face in torrents, "you'll find some beautiful supermodel type girlfriend and you'll do it all the right way. I'm not putting any of this on you. Just let it go and you'll never have to worry about this. I don't want you to worry. You can do so much better. Someone beautiful, and successful, and made to compliment you. Someone who-," I'm cut short, not only by the look of complete shock and pain on Nick's face at hearing my words but a sudden tight cramping across my stomach. I can't help it, my hands dart out in front of me and Nick grabs me, letting me squeeze his arms tightly, my nails digging into the flesh of his wrists.

"Fuck!" I hiss, screwing my eyes shut tightly, "Not. Now."

Nick doesn't swear or moan at the pain I'm putting him through, he just stands there in front of me, allowing me to inflict this pain on him; I am literally watching my nails dig into his skin and he's not flinched once. I have no idea what's wrong with this man... Why the fuck is he still here?
He should be running.
Wanting to run from this.
Why is he still here?

"Nick. Go. You don't want this. Don't start what you can't finish," I whisper, the contraction -the first of many- easing off. I can't look him in the eye. I don't want to see the look on his face. I'd rather he just walked away and let me break down in privacy.

"No." He said, clearly.
"Www-what?" I find myself stuttering, my gaze darting up to meet his. I can feel the shock sliding onto my face.

"I. Said. No." Nick said, slowly, effectively, "You do not get to tell me when to walk away. I've not once said I want to run. I've tried to get you to give me another chance. I contacted you repeatedly. You ignored me. That hurt. That really fucking hurt, but I didn't understand why. Why I was hurting over a girl I spent one night with. It did though. It hurt. And now... Seeing you here. Pregnant. Fucking pregnant.
I'm not going anywhere. I'm not running, and I'm not letting you run again.
I'm going to be a father, and I'm going to damn well step up to the responsibility whether you want me to or not.
Deal with that Harper because you're stuck with me. Do you understand?"

His rant rendered me speechless. The tears continued, and my breathing was no longer breathing... It was gasping. I was hyperventilating.
Anxiety attack!

"Nnnnn-nick..." I managed to stutter out his name past my shaking lips.
He pulled me into his arms instantly and held me close, "shhhh, it's okay Harper. Breathe, baby, breathe." My tears trickle down and scattered across his baby blue dress shirt, soaking the material.

Unable to fight any longer, I grip hold of his shirt and hold onto him for dear life, my body shaking as I try to get to grips with my anxiety.
"Come on, deep breaths. Concentrate on that. Nothing else. Everything is okay."

A knock on the bathroom door sounds.
"Harper? Are you okay in there?" It's Alan's voice.
"Dad!" Nick calls.
The door slides open silently, and Alan slips inside.
This is the fucking women's toilets!

"What's going on Nick? What did you do?" Alan has always been a little overprotective of me; I just didn't think he'd blame his son for upsetting me.
"Dad, don't start now. Harper's in labour. We need to her up to hospital."
Alan looked at us, confusion splattered across his face at our proximity to one another.

"Can't." I breathe, "Violet. Bags. Need-"
"It's ok, we'll sort everything out." Nick soothes, rubbing my back.
I look to Alan, "Ring. Dean." I'm starting to calm my breathing now thankfully but the tears won't halt. At all.