Luckily enough Sasori didn’t encounter any of the other Akatsuki as he walked to his room, remaining in silence as he went through the door and leant against it, just like he had done with Mikansei’s. Her past had crossed his mind when he took her back to the hideout; but only briefly. There seemed nothing overly important to focus on when considering whether or not to let her join. And even now, there still wasn’t—it wouldn’t affect her missions or anything to do with her job in the Akatsuki. Only through conversations with other people did anything come out of it.
The others hadn’t noticed, but then they hadn’t been talking to her like he had been doing. She was always so obliging towards people—polite when in a normal conversation—but that was only heightened to a strange level as things went on. When someone mentioned things about her doing a mission, or like he had just done, showing her the room where she’d be staying...she bowed and acted like a faceless, personality-less robotic solider with no thoughts apart from what her boss wanted her to do. Though the more he saw things like what had just occurred, the more he began to think that she didn’t see them as her bosses. What she did see them as, he wasn’t quite sure. But whatever it was, she wasn’t going to say it.
This was what he had been talking about when he mentioned the idea to Pein. Yes, she would tell most things with ease; she had done nothing wrong, no doubt, and with how agreeable she was, if there was something that didn’t matter she would reveal it. Though he had hinted at the idea that there might be something under the surface, and he was beginning to think he was right. There were things she didn’t want to tell—but there was something even worse as well. When she had changed as he asked her not to bow...it hadn’t been a decision; it had been automatic. Like it was absolutely normal to her and had been taught to her—instilled in her—from a very young age, and it wasn’t something she could remove from her head easily, if she could at all.
It was one thing to show no hesitation in putting your life on the line for a Kage or sensei.
But it was another to consider your life nothing in return.
Mikansei knew Sasori was suspicious. And it worried her. What if he mentioned it to Leader—said it would be better if she left with her strange behaviour? She knew the others didn’t act like she did; compared to the respect given from someone like Hidan she was a servant who licked the dirt off of all of their shoes. But they were powerful and intelligent ninjas, and had been all their lives. Take Itachi, for example. However, things were different for her, and they had been from the beginning. She hadn’t grown up in a ninja village, been taught by a jonin of the highest standard and gone from genin to chunin and then jonin through exams. She had dipped her feet into the shallows of the ninja arts voluntarily, only to find her feet pulled from underneath her into the depths without a choice as to whether she wanted it or not.
Sighing, she turned from facing the door and went to stand by the window. She had been thinking a moment ago how kind Sasori had been to her so far, even without knowing her well at all. He wouldn’t do that—he wouldn’t even mention her behaviour to Leader in the first place. Whether he wanted to find out why she had acted like that or not, she didn’t know, but he was suspicious; not warily so, true, but suspicious all the same. But she couldn’t help it. It was what she was trained to do, what her purpose was in this world. She had no other, and though Tanju was gone, the Akatsuki had now appeared and given her a job. Sasori had come around.
And his life was starting to matter to her.
There was a difference to him that connected her. That connection was affecting her with decisions and such. Shutting her eyes slowly, she frowned a moment later as it occurred to her what she was doing. First off, getting affected wasn’t something she should do to begin with; all that mattered was remaining calm, and choosing the path that was the smoothest and did things right. Secondly, although Mikansei worked for him and had to obey his orders; had to make sure everything went how he wanted it, she kept thinking of Sasori in her own terms. In ways that were to do with feelings and emotions—and that was strictlyforbidden. The fact that these were all rules that had surfaced with Tanju was lost to her, because they had given her focus and purpose. They had always been there, her entire life.
They replaced her parents.
The night went on; Mikansei sleeping a little here and there, but still thinking over what had happened. It continued in her dreams, giving her nightmares of her parents returning to her, only for Tanju to kill them again, morphing into Sasori touching her like he had done, before she woke with a gasp, jumping up and unsheathing a kunai; breathing deeply as she glanced around her room. Suddenly remembering what had happened that day and where she was, Mikansei returned the kunai to her holster and turned to the bed once again, sitting down gently onto the edge. Passing over thoughts of her nightmares, she managed to come to a conclusion:
The room she had woken up in was hers—she wasn’t with Tanju anymore. She worked for the Akatsuki, for Deidara and Sasori; and that meant that the rules might have changed. True, they were still her masters, but things changed from person to person, organization to organization. Leader had told her not to bow like that to begin with, a statement that had confused her when he had done it. But this clearly showed, right from the start, that everything was about to change. Sasori and Deidara had been kind—in a way—to her, and it was different.
But that didn’t necessarily mean it was a bad thing. These changes had been good. Yes, it was new to her, but she could get used to it. If she paid close attention and listened to what they all said, did what they all did...then she could fit in. She had moulded her personality, abilities and physical body to how Tanju had wanted them, and though she didn’t know how the Akatsuki wanted her to be, she could follow in the same way as them all. That way the answers would be clear, and she wouldn’t have to deal with how Sasori looked at her. It wasn’t fearful or hate-filled...but instead an emotion she didn’t know—it had just been the look in his eyes that had sent a spasm up her spine. She didn’t want to see it again.
Pushing himself away from the window, Sasori walked over to the door and placed his hand on it, ready to open it and go and talk to her. Though he stopped himself a minute later and faced his room, glaring at the floor. It was exactly the reason he didn’t like emotions—and yet...clenching his fists, he unhinged Hiruko and stepped out, grabbing the puppet off the side that needed to be repaired and sitting on the nearest chair. Falling into the rhythm of his work, his hands worked absentmindedly as his mind continued to think about Mikansei.
He couldn’t go back. It wouldn’t change anything, and all that would happen was that she would remain in that robotic state because of his return. She would wonder why he had come back; that she had done something wrong—not from a friend’s point of view, but from a servant’s. It was like she was waiting for something. Lingering for anything that anyone would say that would allow her to do or say something. Just poised on the starting line, and waiting for the signal to go. Waiting in the corner for...
But then it hit him. That’s why it affected him in such a strange way—yes, the others would have thought it was strange, but not in the way he felt. He had experienced it, but not quite like it was with Mikansei. It was why he hadn’t spotted it to start with. Maybe that was one of the connections that drew him to her; he didn’t know. But he knew what it was that had gotten to him.
She was acting like something he knew incredibly well. That he had known for as long as he could remember. An...enhanced version, maybe, but something he knew all the same. But those had been different. They had been cold; lifeless—that’s what they were meant to be, when it came down to it. Mikansei was anything but. But he couldn’t disguise the fact, that when it came down to it...
She was acting like a puppet should be.
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