Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and pushed away all emotions and brought her face back to its emotionless state, gently rubbing her arms to soothe away the pain. She couldn’t show Sasori—or any of the other Akatsuki, for that matter—that there were wounds on her arms. Wounds that were because of her situation with her body and that were all integrated with her story. If she told them about that, she’d have to tell them completely about what happened with Tanju, and what would happen then?
They’d think she was weak.
But they couldn’t find that out; she’d try anything before she’d let that secret out. So a second later, once it was done, she opened her eyes, collected up the rest of her kunai, and jogged back to the others with a smirk, explaining she had taken longer as her bandages had started to come undone. As Sasori's eyes grazed across hers she felt strange once again, though this time she knew it was because she didn’t like hiding things from him. He had been the one to get her into the Akatsuki, to help her out with so much while she had been there; so keeping a secret—and such a big secret—was a big deal. And she didn’t know what to do about it.
The journey was spent in much the same way it had been before, Mikansei trying as hard as she could to appear as normal as things had been when they had arrived. A part of her wanted to keep silent for the majority of their walk, needing to think about her situation and what she would do, but another part almost wanted to keep talking. To try and push away thoughts about what was different about her body than other people’s. She was starting to feel self-conscious about it in terms of having people she considered closer to her than most suddenly seeing her as weird—as a freak.
Her worry, however, calmed a little as the throbbing pain in her arms slowly began to fade, Mikansei hoping that it would go completely—well, for now, anyway—and she could deal with putting new bandages on when she got back. She’d have to keep them on constantly, she knew that; but if she came up with an excuse as to why she continued to keep them on when the injuries on her arms must by now have healed, then they wouldn’t think anything of it and the wounds would be kept hidden for as long as she wanted them to be that way.
“Mikansei-chan? Isn’t it annoying for you to have to always wear those bandages, un?” Deidara asked a minute later, as if she had called something into existence. Smothering a sigh at the idea that she hadn’t had time to really think of the excuse, she smirked at the question and answered as casually as she could in her current state,
“No, not really. I actually kind of like the way they look.”
Chuckling slightly Deidara shrugged in agreement, fine with her answer—something which Sasori didn’t share. Her actions and personality revealed that what orders she was given; what mission she was on and what challenges she faced were the things she focused on most. Her appearance and what people thought of her came far down her list of things that were important to her. True, she had now joined the Akatsuki, but it had barely been a day with them, and taking into account the situation he had had with her last night, it wasn’t going to be something that would easily be able to change. The injuries would mean she’d have to spend time waiting for them to heal before being at her best once again.
So why was she now saying she was thinking about her appearance above that fact?
Whatever it was, something was different. And Sasori was beginning to get suspicious about that fact. She was acting normal in every other way, so he didn’t suspect she had been approached while collecting her weapons—they had barely been a few metres away, anyway. It would have been impossible to do a thing without them noticing. But it was that idea that she was hiding something. That idea of an important secret that was key to who she truly was, why she did the things she did and why she believed in what she did—and a secret she had never told to anyone. But he wanted to know; wanted to find out.
Though he wanted it to be through asking her. For her to trust him enough to sit down and talk him through all that had happened. Why it was this way, he couldn’t get a grip on. But he didn’t want to just figure it out and then confront her with it. It might take him a while, but he’d get closer to her enough to let him in and trust him with her secret. Patience wasn’t a strong point of his, true, but it was different with her. And so he was going to try harder than he would with most.
Managing to slowly increase their pace without either of them noticing, Mikansei focused on keeping herself calm at the idea of almost being at the hideout. Even if the sun set before they reached there, that was fine. It would be harder to see anything that was going on then, and as such any blood that seeped through the bandages would be hidden, and any tiny signs of her being affected by the pain would also be disguised. But reaching the hideout and getting new bandages would be the only sure way of knowing things would be alright, and several times she had to push away an impatience rising within her, making her want to tap her fingers against her leg in anxiety.
Impatience wouldn’t help at all. Yes, she normally liked to get things done quickly anyway, but showing it now would only prove to them that something strange was going on, and that she was trying to get away from them all. Though it seemed like they hadn’t noticed a thing as the hideout appeared on the horizon; and grinning at the sight, Deidara pushed onwards, wanting to be the first to tell the story of their mission and how Mikansei would fit in just fine—that she had amazing abilities and could fight really well.
Mikansei did nothing to stop him, merely walking on through the halls with him as he finally reached the living room, most of the Akatsuki sitting inside and entertaining themselves, only halting as they saw them both enter. Kisame quickly turned and asked how the mission had gone, to which Deidara instantly took his cue and launched into his tale, Mikansei shaking her head at this fact, but stopping him slightly, she said sweetly,
“Thank you for everything today, Deidara-san. It was good.”
Nodding in agreement, he said there was no need, but shaking it off, Mikansei felt there was one more thing she needed to do before changing her bandages, and that was thank Sasori. Twisting her gaze, she saw he had disappeared off round the corner, and straightening, she followed immediately. After being shown to her room last night, Mikansei could remember where it was, so it wouldn’t take her too long to get back there, and all it was, was a simple thank you.
A way of saying she really did agree with his opinion on art.
Catching up with him now, she saw him slow down upon seeing a door, and instantly entering the position of his room into her mind, Mikansei hesitated herself as he went inside and closed the door softly. Now considering whether or not to disturb him, she shook off in realisation that he had only just gone in; what could he have done in that short space of time? So stepping forward, Mikansei knocked tentatively on his door, glancing up as the door opened a few moments later, only to find herself freezing as he did so.
Now the eyes she was looking into were a deep brown, with a messy tumble of red hair now curling around his head. The same apathetic expression he had carried before was still visible, but it was much more different this time. He was very young-looking, and, well...handsome, something Mikansei couldn’t take her eyes off of as he stood there staring back at her.
She had known it was armour he had been wearing...but she hadn’t been expecting this.
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