As Mikansei finished her story, Sasori was rendered speechless.
He had always thought that something bad must have happened in her childhood to make her react like she had when they had both been in her bedroom last night; something deeper going on with her arms when she constantly dismissed the injuries that she had there, always trying to change the subject. But he had never imagined that she would have had to have gone through so much. She had stated to begin with that she had been working for Tanju for a while, and when he had started treating her badly, she had rebelled, killed him and broken free. Technically, she hadn’t been lying, but that was the utmost basic statement she could have told him.
How she managed to keep it inside her all this time; keep quiet…he didn’t know.
All her life she had worked for him, and pretty much been his slave, trying to turn her into the perfect weapon. Sasori’s teeth instantly gritted, clenching his fists slightly at the idea that he had hurt her so much. As if having to watch both her parents be killed, her mother abused like the way she had wasn’t enough; to take advantage of that fact and drag her off to force her to become a solider and nothing more was disgusting. True, he always added on battle adaptions to his human puppets, but those in his collection were people he had killed. He didn’t exploit a child because she showed talent in the ninja arts.
And to experiment on Mikansei?
“Wait…so those injuries on your arms…those are from where he experimented on you?” Sasori eventually managed to say softly, still not facing Mikansei. He was too angry at what she must have had to endure for that. But grateful he had said something, though still nervous at how he would truly react, she swallowed hard and explained what he had done to her body, adding on afterwards in a very quiet voice,
“But he hadn’t finished it—so that’s why it’s hurting me.”
Narrowing his eyes, it was now that Sasori turned to look at Mikansei, and at how she looked down at her hands. His fists clenched tightly, his entire body tensed at what he now saw. Tanju had killed her parents, taken her from her home and isolated her from the rest of the world; he had experimented on her—something of which had and still did cause her a lot of pain—all for his own gain. But to manipulate her personality and very spirit until she felt ashamed of actions that had been down to Tanju and no one else…that was what he couldn’t stand. When Sasori’s parents had died, it had been a turning point in his life and what made him do a lot of things he had done in his life; why he had become a puppet master and changed his body into what it was today—and it would never stop affecting him. But compared to Mikansei’s…it was nothing.
Though suddenly his thoughts occurred to him, and he knew what he could do. He was a puppet master, and not only could he use the corpses of his opponents to make puppets, but he had effectively made himself into one too. It was engineering for humans. Yeah, Mikansei’s situation wasn’t quiet the same as the puppets he made, but it was like his body. If he could change the way his body was; until all that he needed was his heart; he could find out about how Mikansei’s body worked and figure how everything could work.
Knowing what she was thinking and feeling, he began gently,
“Mikansei…don’t be ashamed of how your body is different; of what Tanju did to you after he killed your parents and took you away. You have no reason to be like that; it was his fault, and his alone—you didn’t deserve what he did to you—and you don’t deserve to still be affected by it now.”
Now at this, Mikansei had no idea what to say.
She had thought that Sasori would turn away from her, look angry and call her weak; tell her to get out, before going to Leader and revealing everything; at which point she’d get kicked out of the Akatsuki. At first, from his actions and the look in his eyes she really had thought that’s what he was going to do, and any hopes she might have had were crushed completely. But when he said nothing, her heartbeat increased and she began to get nervous; this wasn’t what she had been expecting at all, and was beginning to think it would be even worse.
So when he spoke up and asked that, it had jolted her a bit. It was almost as if he was checking the full details; and although there was a doubt in her mind—that he was making sure he knew it all before he told it all to Leader—there was something there she wasn’t sure of. Like that wasn’t the reason behind it at all, and as such her answer was a little more hesitant than it might have been otherwise. At least before Mikansei had known how she would react; but now it was all changing, and it left her stumped as to what to do.
Especially when he told her she shouldn’t be ashamed of what had happened.
Any hope that had been churning around in Mikansei’s stomach now burst into life—though a wave of confusion joined it soon after, and she remained frozen to the spot as she contemplated what to do. Sasori had none of this reluctance, and stared straight back into her eyes as the shock rushed over her, this fact giving him even more motivation to do what he wanted. He had never felt the need to help someone so strongly in his life…but then again, this was Mikansei. It made things different, and it was why he was willing to do so much more.
At this point she frowned, her emotions moving from shock to confusion, and seeing this, Sasori smiled softly back at her, and that same feeling that had appeared over today came back stronger than ever. It was so strange to Mikansei, but the more she looked into Sasori’s calm and gentle eyes the more she liked it. They were so intense, and enticed her so strongly with the feelings that were revealed in them. They were similar, she knew that, in many things, and how they viewed emotions was one of them. Neither of them really showed their emotions to the world, and they didn’t really appeal to either of them. But this was different. The emotions didn’t take over all of his body and the expressions on his face, but the fact it was a small sign that he was showing to her made it all the more special.
Which is why Mikansei found herself smiling right back at him.
At her reaction, Sasori knew now that he could say something. He wanted her to be comfortable enough with him so she would let him do this; he wanted her to trust him. Then again, it wasn’t like he hadn’t wanted those things from the beginning. But before he allowed himself to let things take their time. To slowly progress into getting Mikansei to trust him and be friends; be close to him. It couldn’t be the same now, however. That had changed the moment she had collapsed at his door with her arms bleeding profusely and how she had been unconscious for a while.
He’d have to try and speed things up a little bit.
Abruptly a little feeling of nerves surfaced within him, though Sasori wasn’t entirely sure what it was—an emotion that was reflected in Mikansei. She wasn’t entirely sure what he was thinking about, but it was focused on her; that was sure. No one ever concentrated on her like Sasori was now; not with the emotions in his eyes or with what he had said and how he had treated her, and that heat in her face came back, feeling awkward with all the attention on her; not her abilities, not her power…but herself in general, and she wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not. She just wanted him to tell her what it was he was thinking about, only to freeze up completely as he breathed a moment later,
“Mikansei…I can stop the pain.”
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