Mikansei, however, didn’t know where she was anymore.
Everything had faded from her view, including Sasori, and she hadn’t been able to reply to his comment. After all this time, after finally finding out what Sasori thought about her—what she thought about him—and this happened. Frustrated at the idea of not having told him she loved him, she wandered through the darkness that surrounded her, wondering what was going on and where exactly she had ended up.
She had been overwhelmed by her subconscious before, when she had collapsed in front of Sasori after her arms had started hurting. But this felt different. Mikansei felt alive, but…not as she should be. It was completely different to anything she had ever felt before, and though it didn’t feel bad, exactly, she knew she didn’t want it to last long. Getting back to Sasori and the Akatsuki was her main priority, wanting to properly talk to him; just wanting to be with him in general. When with Tanju, he had owned her, simple as. But she didn’t care about that anymore. Even if she was owned, it would only be Sasori; no one else.
Not now she knew how she felt.
Suddenly flashes of her life passed her by, and she knew she was unconscious; a lot deeper than before, but still unconscious. This time it was of the good things that had been in her life. The years she had spent with her parents, training to become a ninja in her own time and being praised and loved by those around her. The moments when she felt she had done something right, felt good about herself…felt independent. It had been Sasori that had given her all of that back; without him, it would never have happened.
But she wasn’t sure how to get back.
It was like being in a maze, but a very strange one. Everything around her was familiar, the way she felt wasn’t bad, but she knew she had get out; to go through it. The idea of being lost in her didn’t panic her, but it was a definite fact that she needed to get out; and now. Of course, the problem was that there was no exit sign or arrows to show the way. Mikansei had been left alone, and sadness soon did begin to overwhelm her, along with hopelessness.
What if she never got back to Sasori?
What if she had to remain here, knowing he was still out there?
What if she never got to say what she needed to him?
Memories of when she was young abruptly flashed in quick succession in front of her, cancelling out her despair for a moment as she tried to figure out which ones they were; but there was one particular one that circled round and round until she could concentrate on nothing but that specific one. It had to be one of her favourites; one of the ones that she still thought about even when she was being controlled and owned by Tanju, and that helped her get through everything.
Though she had become a ninja very early and began to increase her skill quickly, becoming a chunin and then jonin rapidly in only a few short years, there were still two dolls she loved to play with as a child; a male and a female one. Then one day—how exactly Mikansei couldn’t remember—she lost the male one, and though her mother tried to comfort her, there was nothing she could do to stop Mikansei from getting upset. She had cried and cried, and had thought that there was no chance of her ever getting it back. She still had the female one, but it made no difference; it had been the whole point of having it—that they were a pair. Now it was just one on its own, and it was nothing without its counterpart.
Only when her father luckily found it and brought it back to her did she stop crying and calm down. And suddenly the very moment when he revealed it came back to her vividly, like watching a film but being included in it; not only did she see what was going on, she felt the same things, too: a wave of happiness at something she had considered incredibly important to be returned to her, just when she had thought all was lost. And then the words that her father had said to her afterwards rang in her mind—no matter what happens, he will always come back to you.
Then suddenly light overwhelmed her, the words still ringing in her ears.
Sasori froze in place, feeling fingers grip onto him even tighter than he was already holding onto Mikansei. Not quite understanding what was going on, thinking he was hallucinating for a moment, he pulled away slowly to see Mikansei blinking in surprise and confusion, unsure as to where she was or what had happened. Then making eye contact with an utterly shocked Sasori, his eyes wide in surprise, speechless with it, she whispered his name and he snapped out of it, not caring how it had happened, and lunged forward, gently cupping her face and whispering,
“I’m here, Mikansei. I’m here.”
At this, she fully woke up, smiling back at him gently, remembering her father’s words. He had been right. He had come back to her, and as such, she slowly ran her fingers over his face; his features, Sasori merely closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling, unable to voice how happy he was at having her become alive again. Then recalling all that he had said to her before she had slipped into unconsciousness, she breathed,
“I want to be your doll,” only to find Sasori chuckled, and opening his eyes to look back at her once again, he replied simply,
“You always have been, Mikansei. Right from moment I met you.”
“I—I feel so…I can’t explain,” she suddenly blurted, but Sasori shook his head, not needing to hear it in words, leaning in closer to say with a smirk,
“I know what you mean…and I feel the same.”
Without saying anything else, he leaned in and kissed her softly, Mikansei instantly responding, not fully knowing what to do but merely going with her instincts. His lips felt right on hers, and his fingers slowly tracing the curves of her body made her shiver in pleasure—a pleasure she’d never felt before but was better than anything. Everything fell away apart from his tongue dragging across her lips, and she couldn’t help but let out a moan. Instantly blushing, she pulled away slightly, only to find Sasori shook his head, smirking, and pulled her right back in, fully pushing his tongue into her mouth and exploring inside. Her moans came automatically, but Sasori seemed to like it, so she didn’t try and smother them away. This merely caused the rest of the Akatsuki, still watching through the gap in the door, to softly close it, not really wanting to see what happened next as Sasori slowly pushed her to lie down on the bed. They didn’t matter to Mikansei and Sasori, though. The only thing they could focus on was an intimacy neither of them had ever really had in life.
True, Mikansei didn’t truly know what to feel...
But as he started pulling off her clothes, she didn’t doubt she’d find out.
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