Mikansei knew she was alive; she could feel that sense of consciousness pulling at her from somewhere. How she could fully get back, she didn’t know. All she knew was that it had been ripped from under her feet like a rug. If she had been more embarrassed in her life, she couldn’t think of it—she had been completely ridiculous, forgetting about what she needed to do, instead on what she wanted to do! She had been focusing too much on Sasori to notice how her wounds were acting so strangely. Even when the pain vanished completely she had had to pause a few seconds to actually recognise what was going on. But of course, by then, it was too late.
She collapsed in front of him.
That was the last thing she remembered—the pain that made her drop to her knees; glancing up and seeing Sasori's blurry face staring down at her. His eyes were the only thing that were clear as she fainted, an unknown emotion showing through that Mikansei couldn’t pin to anything. Then everything had gone black, and now she was floating around; half in a coma, and half conscious. It was like floating between worlds. She knew she wanted to fight to get back to reality; back to Sasori, but there seemed no way out of it. No way she would be able to try and convince Sasori she wasn’t the pathetic; weak little girl that she had just shown herself to be.
But the moment she stopped trying, things began to appear. Fading in and out of her view, she tried to make out what they were, when one thing caught her eye more than the rest. An orb of some sort; the colour wasn’t bright and shining, but there was still something about it that glowed. And its strange gaze was focused entirely on her. It was calling her to it, causing her to feel so content and happy that she didn’t want anything else in her life now—all she wanted was to be around this strange, wonderful orb.
When it faded away from view, it seemed like the world had been shut off from her, and a feeling of loneliness overcame her more than it had done for a long time. It wasn’t until a pounding in her head hit her like one of Deidara's bombs that it fell away. Wincing in pain, she looked around to try and sense the source, only for it to come again. But the third time and everything whirled around her, appearing to have no end; Mikansei had to do something to make it stop, and clenched her eyes shut to think of a solution...only to find that it all settled down once she did so. Opening her eyes once again, she saw a dimly lit room, the puppets hanging on the walls giving it away as Sasori's.
She was back in the real world.
As she groaned slightly with the pain, Sasori noticed and quickly came over, sitting on the side of the bed to check to see if she was alright. The moment his eyes locked onto hers, she realised the orb she had seen and been Sasori's eyes; they weren’t as bright as someone with blue eyes or eyes like Kakuzu’s...but there was still something there that caught her. She had seen it when she first arrived at his door and found she couldn’t look away.
Sasori was just glad she was conscious again. It had been about an hour; luckily enough no one had come knocking on his door. If they had, he wouldn’t have been able to hide it. He hadn’t wanted to leave Mikansei’s side, and trying to keep checking on someone while wedging yourself between the door and the doorframe was never easy to do. Then he would have had to explain—which would only lead to more questions. He himself hadn’t known what was going on to begin with—only that Mikansei had injuries on her arms. How they had truly got there or why she had collapsed was unknown to him. But waking her up to a sea of faces all asking her questions was not what he wanted.
She’d been through enough already.
Grabbing a glass of water, he tilted her head gently and helped her drink it, not saying anything to her for the moment as she lay back down on the bed. The silence—not to mention not wanting to meet Sasori's gaze after the situation—gave her the chance to look around his room. Hiruko was sat in the corner, strangely eerie now that it was empty without Sasori inside. Other puppets that were still to be made (not corpses—you know, just not fully done yet) or needed to be repaired also hung around the edges of the room.
Contemplations of how she could sneak out without him chasing after her snuck through her head, but knowing the state of her health at the moment, compared with Sasori's...there would be no way of getting out without him noticing. Not to mention the other eight people living in the building—they could be anywhere, and knowing Mikansei’s luck at the present, she’d bump into every single one of them along the way. No, there was no way of getting out of this—though Sasori was silent, helping her drink and not attempting to do a thing, she knew he wanted her to explain all that had happened—why it had happened. He wanted her back story.
The secret she had told herself she would keep from everyone.
He’d think she was weak and pathetic. They had accepted her into their group; a group of legendary, S-class and ruthless ninjas with the likes of Itachi, Sasori and Leader, and she had collapsed in front of one of them with only a few injuries on her arms. Of course, there was more to it than just the cuts, but even that difference shouldn’t affect a thing. She was weaker than she had considered herself to be. Just like she had thought—always getting good things to happen to her, then having it snatched away when it was in her grasp.
But glancing round at him, seeing him sitting on the edge of the bed frowning at the wall, Mikansei realised what was occurring with him—with a slight bit of shock. He wanted to help her; make sure she was okay. Maybe even had done from the beginning. He had been the one to risk Leader’s wrath by deciding to take her to the hideout, making sure she knew of everyone’s abilities and helping to make a plan so she could integrate herself into the missions together. She had collapsed, but he had put her in his room, re-bandaged her arms, and—though she didn’t know how long she had been out—had sat with her and made sure she was okay all the time she had been unconscious. He hadn’t even told anyone about what had happened.
Because...because he understood that she didn’t want them to know.
Closing her eyes gently, she sighed at her selfishness. All this time she had been trying to hide it from all of them. Mikansei had known it would affect her body when she left Tanju’s place without having it finished, had known it would keep hurting her until she could find some way of stopping it, and though it hadn’t occurred to her that she could collapse, she had known things might happen. Things that could endanger her missions. What if it had happened earlier today? She could have gotten the others in trouble. All Sasori had done was try to help her so far; Leader had given her a cloak and hat and allowed her to carry the name of Akatsuki with her—and she had responded by keeping something important from them. Especially when Sasori had even been expecting it—she knew it now. Sasori had attempted to make sure she was alright with all the changes that were happening, and she had treated him like nothing. When she was working for him!
“Mikansei, are you alright? Because if you are—though it seems like I’m being harsh...I have to know.” Sasori finally spoke up, turning to face her with the same orbs that had called to her earlier, and narrowing her eyes, knowing he’d probably react badly to it, she narrowed her eyes back at him, having made her decision.
“I know. I’ll tell you.”
But of course she did.
She had no choice.
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