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Riley closed his eyes as he ran his finger down the length of Sam's arm, the man in question was bundled into his arms. It was night time and they took a risk by sleeping together but they both needed close contact. They knew the possibility of someone barging into the tent was low but it wasn't impossible. For now, Riley just let himself listen to the sounds of the bugs on the other side of the tent. He lifted his head slightly and pressed a kiss to Sam's head who had flipped over so he was facing Riley's chest while Riley was thinking.
He wrapped his arms tighter around Sam, when he realized how tight he was squeezing he loosened his hold in fear of waking Sam up, but it seemed to be too late. "What's wrong?" Sam muttered into Riley's clothes. "Nothing, go back to sleep." Riley placated Sam but instead, he shuffled and leaned back so he can look Riley in his eyes. "What's wrong? Did something happen? Is your family okay?" Sam paused and a dark look washed over his face. "Is my family okay?"
Riley shook his head and lifted Sam's head slightly so he can kiss him on the lips. "Everything is fine," Riley said as he pulled back from the kiss, he raised his eyebrow and looked at Sam carefully. "How did you know I was talking to your family?" Sam chuckled with relief before shaking his head. "I had to know, Thatcher had told me the first time that you sent them a letter and he asked me if it was okay before they sent it, obviously I said yes because I love that my boyfriend and my family are getting along." Sam intertwined their hands making Riley sigh in relief. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I was just worried that you would think I'm crossing a line."
Sam shook his head quickly. "I would never, I trust that if something happened you would tell me in time." Sam quickly pecked the side of Riley's mouth before running his finger done his nose, the action made Riley smile and close his eyes at the sensation. "Now, are you gonna tell me what's wrong?" Riley took a deep breath and grabbed Sam's hand that he was using to run his finger down Riley's nose, he grabbed it and brought it up to his lips kissing Sam's knuckles.
"Nothing is wrong, I promise. It's just my stupid brain." Sam frowned at Riley before leaning up and kissing Riley's head. "Be nice, I love your brain. Nothing is stupid Riles." Riley huffed out a quiet laugh at Sam's joke before looking at him sadly. "I'm just scared, alright? I feel like something bad is gonna happen and I'm scared that I'm going to lose you. I don't want to lose you, I'm done being scared that you are gonna die."
Sam frowned as he processed what Riley just said. "Well, you know that I can't promise you nothing is going to happen but I promise you that I will be careful, and like you said we just have to get through this one last deployment then we can be free, we don't have to reenlist. We can just buy a place together wherever you want." Riley smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes, no matter what Sam would tell him he would always be scared of losing the love of his life.
"I know, but we have 9 more months of this. 9 more months of me worried that you'll get shot of the sky, right now we're doing rescue missions and recons but soon we'll be into the bigger stuff and that's fucking scary Sam." Sam pauses at Riley, almost like he's trying to figure out what to say to him. "I know it's scary, I'm scared to even though I might not seem like it." Sam keeps his tone light and he spoke in a joking manner to Riley but he didn't smile. "We can't make promises but we can promise to try, we can promise that no matter what happens we're doing this together. You understand that right?" Sam props himself up on his elbow so he can make sure Riley can see his face. "I do understand, I shouldn't have said all this to you. I should've not said anything you're going through this shit too." Riley huffs and turns so he's laying on his back as much as he can on this small cot.
"Hey, no-no. That's not what I said. You're my boyfriend, we need to be honest with each other, sure we're literally in a warzone right now but that doesn't mean we can shut off these feelings like we're robots, we aren't SEALS. We're the airforce babe, we're pararescuemen. We don't need to bottle anything up so I'm glad you told me, next time be honest with me." Sam uses his hand to move Riley's face forcefully so the man is looking at him, Sam releases his chin and Riley nods slightly.
Unknowingly Riley nods and he stretches out his limbs but he fights sleep, he can feel his eyes getting heavy but he isn't ready to say goodnight to Sam yet. "Sleep baby, I'll be right here." Riley moaned at Sam but shook his head quickly. "No, I'm not tired." He forced his eyes open to see Sam's face looking at him like he's lying, which he is. "You are, both of us need to sleep." Sam leaned up and kissed Riley on the nose before putting his head on ontop of Riley's heart because they don't were pajamas pretty much, it wasn't exactly a comfortable position but it was welcomed after the talk that they had.
"I love you, even though you are dumbass." Sam joked before squeezing the hand that Riley offered tightly. Riley quirked a sleepy smile before saying it back. "I love you too dumbasser."
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