I pushed my back against the hard white wood of my bathroom door.
I don't want to go out.
At all.
The house would be filled with people in a few hours and I am not ready for it at all. Physically or mentally.
It's Christmas Day and my mother is hosting a massive dinner party. This is a tradition. Every year we do this. But this time, mom's hosting it and not dad.
Every year before the divorce, my father held a dinner party. Mother was never around to witness the beauty of the event, she was always away doing something.
Christmas never failed to bring my father and I closer. Until now.
He's away right now probably wishing I were there. I wish the same too.
Someone banged on the door and I flinched. The person tried to push the door open but my body was doing an amazing job as a makeshift lock.
"You better move away from that door right now, Brielle". My mother kept banging on the door. I pushed harder.
After Sola left last week she'd taken the lock off my bedroom door as well as the one on my bathroom. I was too 'secretive' and she wanted to keep her eye on me.
She wanted to make sure I don't kill myself.
I appreciate the love but I deserve my own privacy. Am I not human?
"You need to get ready for the dinner"
"Is dad coming?" I asked.
She paused. That was enough to know her answer. "I'd like to go out then. To a friend's" If he's not coming then there's no point celebrating. Dinner somewhere else seems like a great option right now.
"Come on Brielle, we do this every year"
"We?"
We? How could there be a 'we'?
"Which 'we' are you talking about? Dad and I or you and your friends in Santorini?"
She sighed and I felt a slight thump on the door followed by the sound of fabric sliding against it then a thump on the ground right behind me.
"You really want to bring this up again?" She sounded much closer, I think she's sat down.
"Did I get it right? Or is it the ones in Tokyo? Or Bora bora? Or Kenya?"
I heard a sniffle come from the other side of the door. Is she crying? She's crying right now? I swear-
"Brielle, I have my reasons. I did what I did because I should've. I just don't know how to tell you why. But I'm back now, okay? Isn't that what you wanted?"
So she's trying to play victim now. Like I'm the bad one.
"I wanted a mother. Not a deadbeat"
A bit harsh but it seemed to hit the spot. She winced.
"You left me with dad so many times for so long. Do you know how many times I had to check if you were alive? From google? When you finally sent someone to me I thought it would be temporary. Like your way of reaching out to me. But you just sent someone to replace you. How selfish can you be? You were traveling around the world while you left everyone else to do what you're meant to do. And the one time you come back it's to have a fight with dad, divorce then leave again."
"Brielle, listen. I wasn't traveling around relaxing-"
"So what the fuck were you doing huh? Because those drones were not staging pictures of you sunbathing in Brazil"
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DELUSIONAL
General Fiction"I really don't know what to say to her anymore. She's so stubborn. She won't talk, she won't even sit down on the couch. She stands for thirty minutes and leaves without a word. I want to help her, I really do. But she acts like she's alone when I'...
