KotLC if Sophie was a Delinquent Badass

The End Of The Beginning!

-Small TW: mention of suicide. It's not big but you never know.

A'IGHT! OH 'KAY!

Time to watch as my life falls apart.

"I'M HOME!"

"Where have you been?" Dad shouted. He looked angry, his usually soft face angled with hard lines. I would explain that but we're in a pickle juice, thanks God.

"I... don't even know how to respond. I skipped school today!" My ass is going to be grounded but... yeah, I won't finish that sentence.

"I know," Mom groaned. "The school called. Seriously, Sophie, you can't keep doing this." I did the cheeziest thing ever. I hugged her out of nowhere. She hesitated for a second but hugged back regardless.

"Is something wrong?" she asked softly. Ah, geez.

"Nothing. Just wanted you to know that I love you!"

"We love you, too," Dad answered. "But don't think you're getting out of this easy. You're grounded." A laugh sounded from the top of the staircase.

"Hah! Your little plan didn't work, Soybean." I stuck my tongue out.

"Amy, no eavesdropping." Mom scolded. She shrugged. Rude.

"How long is she grounded for?" Seriously, why's she so nosey?

"Three months."

"DEAL!" I hopped up the stairs. "I'll try not to worry you again."

Amy snorted. "I doubt it."

"WHERE'S THE TRUST, HUH?" I rolled my eyes. Then I hugged her because why the fuck not, don't judge me. She's a fun brat to have around.

My parents gasped. "Ugh. What are you doing? I thought you were incapable of love." Amy grimaced.

"Fu- Rude!" Even though I don't believe in censors, I can't swear in front of my parents. They'll add months to my death sentence—not that it matters. "I may be emotionally detached but you're my sister and I love you!" Shoot me.

I swear I heard Dad whisper about getting me a therapist. He's a couple years late, but he's got the spirt!

"Stop being a werido," Amy groaned.

"No, you." She looked frustrated. I moved to go to my room.

"We're not done here, Soybean. We have to have a talk." Oh, fuck no.

"And we will." I smiled. "Later."

I took if to my room and started grabbing shit. Anything I could possibly die without. I doubt I can buy this stuff in Atlantis.

I grabbed a backpack and started shoving stuff in. A couple hoodies and jeans—elvin clothes were not it—my phone charger, Ipod... MY SEXY KITTY SOCKS.

I reached to pull the socks when Marty rubbed his fur against my leg.

"Sorry, boy," I whispered. "Unless..." Do I bring the fat cat or do I not bring the fat cat? Fat cat fluffy. I had an idea.

I walked to the door, backpack over my shoulder and Marty in my arms. This bitch is heavy but he's my last source of happiness here.

I looked around the room one more time, like a homesick five year old. Taking in the pale blue walls, the books stacked on every free surface and the yellow quilt mom made for me as a baby.

My eye briefly passed over the worn, blue, stuffed elephant sitting there staring at me. Okay, we get it.

I walked back in to pick up Ella. Only the baddest bitches sleep with stuffies. I put her in the bag.

"Anything else wanna guilt trip me?" I asked aloud, glaring specifically at the line of stuffed animals on the bed. No? Great.

I took a deep breath, turned of the lights and closed the door. Time for the grand escape, bitches! Shit's about to escalate.

Maybe I should have gone out the window like normal but we don't want PEACE, WE WANT DRAMA!

I took my time going down the stairs, trying to be as silent as possible. NINJA SOPHIE!

Ninja Sophie was a bust.

"Sophie Elisabeth Foster." Shit, I'm fucked.

"Yeah?" I said innocently. Amy giggled.

"Aren't you in enough trouble?" Mom asked.

"Apparently, not."

"Where do you think you're going? And with Marty? " To magic elfy land.

"I can't really explain that..." Or can I? They're going to forget anyways. I shoved that thought out of my head before I lost my cool.

"You aren't going anywhere." Oh my god, how cliché. He moved to the front if the door.

What I didn't explain is that Fitz gave me and elfy (I need to stop saying elfy) gadget that sprays sleeping gas or something. I'm not exactly thrilled to use it on them. But they CLEARLY weren't going to let me go.

"Uhh... Look of we sit, I'll explain." Lying comes naturally but damn. This is harder than I thought.

They moved to the couch looking at me for an explanation. Sorry guys! Maybe next time.

My heart hurts. Unnatural.

"So, you see..." I started twisting the top of the gadget like Weirdo showed me. "Please know that I love you?" I cringed. "And... I'm sorry for being a burden." Why does this sound like a suicide letter?

I held my breath as twisted the disk between my hands. Air rushed past my fingers as the gas released, and I dropped it and backed away. I don't think this through, did I?

I ran out of there before I knocked myself out. Chubby Bae meowed in my backpack. Sorry lil' dude.

Fitz met me at the door, getting ready to leap out of there. "You good?" He looked worried.

"Yeah, Weirdo. Let's just go."

"But you're crying." I realized my eyes were, in fact, sweating and it's not helping my case.

"No, I'm not. You're hallucinating. Now let's gooo!"

"Don't you have more bags to get?"

"I CAN TAKE MORE?" I wasn't aware of this.

"Well, it's your stuff-"

"Nah I think I'm fine...Can we take a detour though?"

"To where?" I smiled as if I wasn't dying on the inside.

"THE MAAALLLLL? Sorry to say but elfy clothes?" I shook my head disapprovingly.

"I can't take you to a mall. Dad would have my head."

"Buzzkill." I have to suffer then.

I grabbed his hand, he held the crystal up to the light and again we stood outside the bright ass gates of Everglen. I made sure to try to do the consciousness wrapping thing for Marty and I'm pretty sure Fitz did too.

"How are you gonna make them forget though? I doubt you can bonk them on the hard enough for that." Please don't injure my family.

"No, no. The washers will take care of that. Special telepaths." I'll pretend I fully understood.

"Okayyy. I think I need to sleep." Fitz looked at me sad(ish)ly. Is that even a word?

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm just peachy! I just wanna come up with a plan to meet that bestfriend of yours and kill your sanity."

"That's messed up."

"I'm messed up." The jokes are only going to get crazier. BUT CRAZY IS FUNNY! Until it's annoying.

He chuckled sadly and opened the door. I don't care how normal it is but there's no was in hell I'm licking something other people have licked. I have standards.

LET ME DO A NARRATOR THING

AHEM

And this is the beginning of my traumatizing elfy experience!