Everyone's Out to Get Me

THE SPLOTCHING CHAMPIONSHIP

IGGY SNORES LIKE A GROWN-ASS MAN WITH A SINUS INFECTION. Say that I'm exaggerating, sure, but you share a room with him then come back to me. I'll bet you don't last five minutes.

Grady and Edaline offered to check on him and Marty while I was at school so I left dark-eyed and flat-tailed. Not to mention that we have P.E. today. Please kill me, serious offers only.

"Jeez, what happened to you?" Dex asked. All dressed up in his gym uniform while I suffer. Such an iconic moment.

"I didn't sleep all night. Thank you for your concern, Dex."

"Wh-"

"Who's ready for the Ultimate Splotching Championship?" Sir Caton asked as the Mentors strode into the amphitheater carrying huge sacks of tiny, brightly colored balls.

Everyone cheered.

"Splotching?" I whispered to Dex. It sounds violent, I already love it.

"Telekinesis," he sighed, "I suck at that."

"You wanna expand on that or..?" People started moving into pairs. I teamed with Dex, of course. "What do we have to do and will something break?"

"Nothing is going to break, I hope..." he ignored my accusation of "buzz kill" and continued to explain, "We push the splotcher at each other with our minds and whoever gets splattered loses. The winners play each other until there's only one left, and that person wins." I love this already.

"Everyone, on your marks," Sir Caton ordered, as Lady Alexine handed Dex a bright pink splotcher.

"Wait, don't we get to warm up or-" My protests were, as usual, ignored.

"Get set!"

Oh, god.

Dex threw the splotcher at me out of nowhere. "Catch!"

"Hey!" Lucky me, I managed to catch it with my mind just in time. "UHH. SHE DIDN'T SAY 'GO'?" I panicked.

"Sorry! I forgot you're worse at this than me." I scoffed.

"I'll have you know I totally nailed a verminion square in the face yesterday." Dex threw up his hands.

"Terrifying." Something tells me he was being sarcastic.

I took about a split-second to focus on the warm buzzing in my gut and push it outwards, envisioning those imaginary Elasta Girl arms. Okay, Dex! Bring it on!

Sir Caston dropped his hand. "Splotch!"

Then there was an immediate "Splat!" It took me a minute to realize it was me who cause the sound.

What I did not expect was for Dex to be sitting on the floor at least ten inches from where he formerly stood.

"Holy shit," I gasped, letting the murmurs of "Did you see that?" and "Oh my God." fade into the background.

"Holy, fucking, shit. HELL YEAH! I DID THAT!" I proceeded to demonstrate my victory dance which consisted of bountiful shimmying. "Worse than you, am I, Dex?" I said teasingly.

"That hurt!" he whined, rubbing his forehead, trying, and failing, not to burst out laughing. Hit him right in the face! "Who knew you had that in you? Jeez."

"I did. I've been trying to tell you guys that I'm awesome. And who didn't listen?" We should know by now to believe me, I'm (almost) never wrong. That sounded vain, I apologize.

I helped Dex up and he dusted off his tunic as if it made a difference. "'Don't underestimate Sophie or you'll get hurt'. Gotcha," he said, complete with air quotes and a massive eye roll.