Roots - h.s

Epilogue.

And if the sky falls from heaven above
I know I had the best time,
fallin into love.

~ Till Forever Falls Apart by Ashe and FINNEAS~

STERLING'S POV:

I exit the plane doors alone, feeling different as I do. It's been almost an entire year since I've been to Oregon. I came back with Harry every christmas and every other thanksgiving but after we both graduated it was harder to fly home because we were getting into a new cycle of life.. It was hard to drop everything but we missed it more than anything.. Both of us did.

    When we got to Connecticut and we settled in we were excited, and ready, and motivated... But for me things got the best of me while we were there. College, and missing home. I found it hard to connect, and to adjust, and I fell into a hard time unlike Harry who thrived at first.. It seemed like he always belonged there.. I envied him for that, and a stupid part of me loathed him everytime he told me he had plans, or something of the sort. It played a hard toll on our relationship too, and it actually stopped it for a bit. My dad wanted me to come home, and I thought about it, but Harry was very persistent in not giving up on me.

flashback//

    "Sterling let me in please." He knocks on my door, and I sit on the floor of my kitchen, my back pressed against the cabinets.

    "Go away." I speak loud enough for him to hear. The door is right next to where the kitchen starts. I look over to it, knowing he's on the other side.

    "Baby, please let me fix this.. I should never have walked out when you broke up with me, I know you don't want this... Please let me in Sterling let me help you please." He pleads, and I hold in a sob, keeping it inside my chest which is something I haven't done in a long time.

    "I don't want you here, I don't-"

    "Sterling I have a key, you gave it to me, and I haven't used it because I want to respect your privacy but if you don't open the door I'm coming in." He threatens, and I let my cry out now. I hate this, I hate the way I feel I hate the sinking feeling I get when I think of him. This is not what I wanted, this is the last thing I expected when I came here.. I don't even remember the last time I looked at the stars. "I'm coming in." He announces, and I hear his keys. I don't watch as I hear the door. I bury my head in my knees as I hug them to my chest.

    "Go away." I cry, wishing to be alone, but also not meaning my words at the same time.

    "I'm not going away.. Come here." I hear his keys clink to the floor, and I feel warmth around me as he pulls me forward, scooting me across the hard ground, and into his arms as he sits on the ground next to me. "Sterling don't push me away please... We've been here for three months.. We've got almost four years left it's going to be okay... We can work through this, we're better than this." He speaks softly,

    "I'm not better than this, I can't do this, I want to go home." I cry.

    "Okay we'll go home, we'll work on a transfer together." He tells me, and I cry harder, pushing back from him.

    "No! See, this is why.. This is why I broke up with you, this isn't going to work. You fit here, you work, and I don't. This isn't where I should be, and.. And I'm holding you back, and you have friends, and a life, and-

    "You are my life! Sterling ,you are what I revolve around and it's not because you're forcing me to, I want to.. I want you, you are my soulmate. Where I need to be is wherever you are, we were in this together. Sterling, I told you I wasn't going to let you struggle alone, and you've forced me out.. Please let me back in, please." He holds my face now, forcing his words so they mean more to me, and I look into the green of his eyes, seeing them pool with tears. "I don't like seeing you hurt... This is not how we planned things, we planned to be here together, and struggle together, and hurt together.. Not alone. Please baby, don't make me do this alone please.. I'm so sorry." He pleads. "I love you more than I can explain.. Don't leave me." He pleads again, and I feel my chest crack.