Roots - h.s

35.

Nothing works, but time.
It all hurts.
But it's fine.

~Headstones and Landmines by Lizzy Mcalpine~

Gonna apologize ahead of time, this is almost 5K words longer than my normal chapters, but this one needed all the words, and writing it got. It's one of my favorites.

This song is one that I knew I was going to use before I even started writing the story.. It literally helped my plan this story in my head so please listen to it.

Tw: mention of rape, and assault.

STERLING'S POV:

    The last week has been very overwhelming... The start of the week was the day Harry brought everyone here to start the treehouse over. The next four days after that were the days every single one of us finished the treehouse, then brings me to yesterday, the day Harry and I painted the treehouse. I've got two weeks left until school starts back, I've got two weeks left until the day I've been dreading, but I'm starting to not dread it so much anymore.. I'm going to have all of my best friends going into it with me, it's not just me anymore. It's not just me and Harry. It's me and my army standing beside me.. So is it really all that bad?

    The last week has made me realize a lot, but it's made me feel a lot more than anything I'd say. After yesterday.. After Harry carved Lee, and my initials into the tree my heart hasn't stopped aching. Harry has carved Lee's name everywhere we've been together, really.. But yesterday was different.. Yesterday kind of sealed the deal in my opinion.. The treehouse when we first started building it as a family was for me, but when summer came and Lee was gone.. It wasn't for me anymore.. It was all for him, and I knew that in the back of my mind. I just got so in my head about it that part of me forgot, and yesterday I remembered, I remembered everything.

    The memorial was definitely a push in the remembering and realizing direction as well. All of this has been. I talked to my dad earlier and asked him if there was any chance we could do something, and he agreed. Neither of us have been able to do it since Lee passed, and we both think it's time to, but he insisted on one thing. He said he wouldn't do it unless Harry came with us. So I need to- My phone starts to vibrate, and I jump, clutching my heart as I do, fucking hell. I look down, and see Harry's name so I pick it up right away.

    "Hi lovey, I have a question for you." I smile, leaning over as I grab my star journal, ready to put the day in that Harry brought everyone here.

    "Alright I'm all ears." He speaks into the phone.

    "Um.. Me and my dad haven't.. Well since Lee passed we haven't gone back to where he was buried, and we were wondering if maybe you could come with us today.. Because we're going to go." I tell him, looking straight ahead as I sit on my knees on the hardwood floors of my bedroom.

    "Your dad wants me to go?" He asks me, almost shocked as he does.

    "Yeah.. He actually requested you come, but even if he didn't I would still really like you to be there.." I add in, and he sighs, but laughs at the same time.

    "When should I come over?" He asks.

    "After you eat lunch... What's wrong? Why are you sighing?" I ask, and I hear him give a soft but nervous laugh once more.

    "Gemma and I have been talking, and I think I need you to come over here tonight.. Maybe after we get home... Since Gemma is in town, and of course you're still... You're here, and stuff I think I want to tell my mum, and Robin about.. About Stephanie. Because I'm ready to let it go, and to move past it, and to completely put it out of my life, and I can't do that mentally unless I talk to them, and open myself up to both of them about it as much as I don't want to, I know I have to." He tells me, and I feel myself let go of a breath that was stuck in my lungs the entire time he was speaking. "So can you be there with me when I do that?" He asks, and I nod my head, despite the fact that he can't see me.