Roots - h.s

31.

You were good to me,
but did you ever hurt for me?

~Did You Ever Hurt For Me: Jess Benko~

STERLING'S POV:

    I sit with my legs criss crossed in front of me and Jon has his head resting on my thigh as I sit here, tears running down my face still. No, I don't fully trust Mason.. I never have, but in so many words.. Mason stole something from me. Mason kissed me without my consent, and when I tried to break away he did it again. That's something I'll never forget. He did that, and even when I was in that friend group I never wanted to be around him. When I left school I got away from him. I'm not sure what led up to the events today, but Carson, and Harry seemed to let Mason come right to my front door. Which might not have been in their control, but he should have warned me.

    And if Mason was lying, how would he know the things he knew? How would he know about the things Harry and I have been doing? I haven't even really spoken to Carson about what Harry and I have been doing. I assume Harry has told him which I told him was fine, that's his best friend.. That's his family. I have no right to control who he talks to and what he talks about, but there's one thing I've made clear since the beginning and that was the fact that I want everything in my life to be kept within myself for the last few months of freedom I have... Before I'm forced to face all the people I used to call my friends. That was the main reason I didn't want to talk to Harry in the first place. I did talk to him though. I told him everything, and I made it clear from the start that what we talk about stays between us no matter what.

    "Sterling.." My dad softly knocks on my door, and I keep looking at Jon as I run my hand over his head, petting him softly.

    "I'm fine. I don't want to talk about it." I tell him, but he opens the door, knowing damn well I won't lock it unless I truly want him to not speak to me.

    "You're not fine, and I'm not someone who will push you, I never have and you know that but Sterling I just walked in to two teenage boys ready to fight in the middle of my house. I deserve some type of explanation." He crouches down, petting Jon just the same as I am.

    "Harry's been talking, and hanging out with Jalyn and Andrea behind my back. Mason apparently has known for some time, and he got mad and came over here to tell me because he thought I deserved the truth, and Harry wouldn't give it to me." I tell him quietly.

    "Did Harry say that?" He asks me.

    "I asked him directly if he was hanging out with them, and he said yes. He said yes that he had been keeping it from me, and doing it behind my back." I tell him, looking at him finally. My eyes are still wet with tears. Mostly because I can't believe any of this happened at all. "Don't look at me like I'm in the wrong here dad... This was the one thing. He's set out plenty of boundaries for me, and I will always follow them, but the one boundary I had.. It was to keep my personal life, the things I shared with him to himself, and not share them with my old friends. All of my old friends were a boundary, and even if what Mason said wasn't fully true he still broke that boundary, and it hurts. I just wanted honesty. That's really all I've asked for, but he kept this from me." I admit to my dad.

    "He shouldn't have lied to you Sterling.. But why are you trusting someone who I know has crossed more than one boundary before over someone who obviously actually cares about you?" He asks, comparing Mason to Harry but all I can do is shake my head.

    "I don't trust either of them... I trusted Harry. I trusted him the same as I did Jalyn, and Andrea. I gave him that trust. I told him about Lee." I tell him, and my dad stops. He doesn't speak, and I can feel his eyes on me. He pauses for a few more moments, and then he sits down instead of crouching, knowing how serious the words I just spoke are.