Roots - h.s

12.

            I'm so scared to fall in love.
            I always fuck it up.
            Wont let them leave me,
            So I do it first.

HARRY'S POV:

    I sit down in a booth at Chesney's and the rest of the group fills in behind me. I sit sandwiched between Mason and Carson, and I fold my hands together on the table, staring straight at them. Everyone begins their normal conversation, and Hallie and Carson dive into their own, both of them really seeming to be about each other more now than before. I don't say much, just sit. I've been trying to keep myself as busy as possible since I did what I did.

    I guess embarrassment is the reason. I hugged her which took a lot for me, it was more than I had expected myself to do, and she was... She was so kind.. The way she asked me if she could hug me back in itself was overwhelming. The sense of protection I had felt in that moment was immense, and I.. Well I blame it all on being overwhelmed. I was feeling a lot of things in those moments. Feeling things for her, and about myself... and I blew it. I completely blew it, and she knows that and I know that so I've been avoiding her mostly to avoid that embarrassment. I think maybe it's best this way though, both of us staying distant like this to avoid anything else... Anything more.

    "Dude what's going on with you?" I snap from my own thoughts and notice Mason talking to me.

    "Nothing." I shrug him off of me, and continue my stare until I notice the rest of the group seemingly looking at me, and not backing down. "What? I'm fine, it's no big deal." I tell all of them, knowing they're not going to back down.

    "He's love sick." Carson speaks up, and I scoff at him, hitting his arm.

    "I'm nothing of the sort." I defend myself to the group.

    "Who's caught your eye? We probably know her, it's no big deal to have a little crush." Claire speaks up, trying to make it better, but all I do is shake my head.

    "I don't have a-"

    "Sterling." Carson speaks up, and I turn to him.

    "Seriously Carson, shut your mouth for once." I speak out, and notice the rest of the group looking at me.

    "Wait she's actually speaking to you?" Mason asks, and instantly I'm uncomfortable.

    "I mean.. Kind of.. Yeah, not really though." I tell him, lying to him. He turns away from me, his expression showing an odd look that I can't place. Most likely a petty anger.

    "What does kind of mean. Are you two hanging out?" Jake asks, and I really wish this conversation wasn't happening.

    "No. I mean yes,  but not really I-"

    "They're hanging out, and Harry likes her." Carson tells everyone, and I swear if I could disappear into thin air I would. I don't want to ever talk about Sterling in this setting to this group of people. It's not that I don't like them.. Its that I don't trust them yet, none of them but Carson which I'm now seeing was stupid on my part.

    "Well don't get your hopes up." Mason breathes out in a rude tone.

    "What's that supposed to mean?" I ask instantly, keeping my tone pointed.

    "Mason, stop." Hallie steps in, and I ignore her.

    "No, what's that supposed to mean Mason?" I ask again.

    "Mason, don't be a dick." Claire interjects herself, and I look at him for an answer.

    "Seriously dude." Jake adds.