Not Some Princess ✓

37. The end of the beginning

37

The end of the beginning

Candy, she's sweet like candy in my veins
Baby, I'm dying for another taste
And every night my mind is running around her
Thunder's getting louder and louder
Baby, you're like lightning in a bottle
I can't let you go now that I got it
And all I need is to be struck
By your electric love
—Electric Love
Børns

THE MORNING light made its way through the curtains. And I fidgeted on the mattress. I felt a soft but strong arm around me and I resisted squealing. It was him. He was back. We are okay. We are together. More together than we ever were.

I turned towards him, feeling his hand on my stomach and shivering through the touch. I faced and saw him. And my heart stopped.

Until it started beating rapidly and my eyes teared. I had to get out of this bed, right that instant.

Gradually, I moved his sturdy hand away and got out of the bed. The tears smeared my cheeks as I made my way to the living room. I sat on the floor beside the couch and took my face in my hands.

I had no idea why I was crying, I just was. It felt too much. It was uncontrollable. It sunk my heart to the deepest darkest parts and they rose to the heights that didn't exist before. I wasn't devastated. I embraced it. I knew there was no other way. I had decided to let go. Then what was this response?

"Hey, what's wrong?" I felt an arm encircle me. And I was sobbing into his neck before I knew it. It wasn't even a neat, ladylike crying. I was downright slobbering his shirt but he didn't seem to mind. He whispered calming words to me and soothingly stroked my back. I wasn't even embarrassed at this point. He had seen much worse. And he still stuck around.

"Shh, it's going to be okay." He muttered to my withering self.

I pulled away a bit and found him wiping my tears with concern evident eyes.

"Tell me. Please." He urged. While he gave me another one of those serene looks. It made me deliberate everything could be alright.

I shook my head and dug my head into his chest.

"Please. For me." He whispered as he pulled my face to lock eyes with him.

"I can't," I pursed my lips. And tears plummeted down onto my cheeks.

"Emilia. Yes. Yes, you can. Try." He put both his hand beside my cheeks and nodded assuringly.

"I, I told you that you should be with me," I whispered. I looked away and played with his collar mindlessly.

"So? Oh." His eyes turned blank and looked down.

"What?" I looked at him conflicted.

"You're having second thoughts-

"NO. God no. It's far from that. I am never going to have second thoughts about you," I held onto his shoulders and sighed. "That's what scares me. The sheer necessity." I said the words softly and understanding washed his face.

He pulled me in for a soft kiss on the lips. I let myself lose in it for a bit. It was an aphrodisiac I just couldn't resist.