Under Summer Sky • Zarry

13. To the sea

But Zayn only let me stay for that night.

The rest of the week resumed back to normal for us as I dragged my sore ass, that may or may not have had the imprint of Zayn's hand on it, out of his bed at the most ungodly hours after having been ravaged all night. 

And as much as I wanted so badly to sleep next to Zayn, to be held close to him and to wake up viewing the golden sunlight dawning in on his skin, I knew that keeping this secret was important to Zayn.

Sometimes I could have a tendency to be this way, but I didn't want to be selfish.

I could hardly complain, though. Zayn was so keen on fulfilling all of my deepest desires, bringing my submissive fantasies to life, and taking such good care of me while doing it. He was so attentive to my needs and he was completely dedicated to every moment that we shared together.

But I could feel myself forming a deep attachment to our sexual intimacy, and to him.

And when I had told Adrienne all about me and Zayn at work one day during that week she was convinced right away that I must love him, that we were falling in love with each other, and the first thing I spat back at her was instant denial.

I wasn't about to fall in love with Zayn, to start a relationship with him when there were only a few weeks left of my summer in Italy in the first place, and then after that there would be only distance between us.

It wouldn't work.

And yet that still didn't stop me from becoming insanely infatuated with Zayn while I was there.

I loved his mind and his passion for all the little things that he clung to. I loved the way his body moved, the subtleties in the inflections of his voice, his hearty chuckle, his smile when his eyes twinkled, and of course I was wildly attracted to him on a physical level.

Perhaps addicted was the most proper term for how I felt about Zayn.

But then I also knew that I cared deeply about him as well. I cared a lot about his feelings, his thoughts, the things about Zayn that made him exactly who he was; but he was just my friend and my summer lover.

I wasn't in love with him. I couldn't be.

That proceeding Saturday was the one day of the week that I was most looking forward to. Gio had given the day off to me, Zayn, Adrienne and Marco so that we could all spend the day by the ocean on his luxury yacht that he hardly ever touched. And I was so excited I could hardly contain myself.

I had been on boats before like speed boats, sail boats, canoes, kayaks, but I had never been on a yacht. I wasn't rich enough to experience things like that. But I loved everything about being out on the water; the humming of the motor, the breeze through my hair, the rippling waves below me, the smell of the salt air, the gentle sounds of seagulls flying overhead, and the tender ocean spray on my face. 

Being out to sea was comforting.

And it wasn't only being on a boat in the middle of the ocean that brought me joy, I was also drawn to all things sea-related such as pirates and pirate ships and old tales of their swash-buckling adventures. I was fascinated by mythology and fantasy creatures like mermaids and water nymphs, and all of the cool sea animals that lived in the depths of the ocean layers. 

My grand mum was the wife of a sailor, my grandfather, and I used to idolize his old sailor-esque tattoos like anchors, ships and birds, always in black and white. Then I'd sit down on the floor of her living room on her pink rug with a cup of tea and Gemma and I would ask her to tell me the story of how they fell in love by the shore over and over again.