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J. WY - Flashbacks

Jung Woo young

Flashbacks

trigger warning :

mentions of death and trauma

College. The hell hole everyone dreams of going to yet despises it. I'm a second-year student in performing arts and I know the feeling of almost failing every semester.

Winter, some people hate it while some cherish its existence. I've never been fond of it but for my roommate y/n, it's paradise. Winter holidays give us a chance to spend time with our friend, family and our loved ones. This year has been rather boring instead.

I'm currently lazing around on my bed waiting for y/n's arrival. It's been hours since I've last seen her. I had asked her catch up with some friends since she looked really tired this morning.

A strange feeling lingers in my stomach. It tells me something absurd is about to happen.

Or maybe it's my mind missing her bright, cheerful presence in our college dorm.

click.

The front door unlocks and I sit right up on the bed.

She doesn't utter a word, simply places her shoes aside and throws her jacket on the bed.

"How do you feel? After all you came third in class."

Her words stab my chest and my ears bleed hearing them. It is evident in her eyes, tone, and behaviour that she failed. The last thing she ever wanted.

She slides down against the closed door and covers her face. I rush sensing she's about to tear and try to hug her but she refrains from my touch.

"Mom knows I failed. She'll choke me. She'll kill me."

"No one is going to kill you."

"You don't understand, Woo. I'm a disappointment in her eyes."

"She'll choke me to death."

I take her in my embrace as her endless trails of tears wet my pastel blue shirt. I've been used to comfort y/n when she breaks down.

In a span of 15 months, I've learned how to calm someone if panic takes over them. It's fascinating how one can learn anything by observing.

"I'm here, y/n. Look into my eyes. Everything will be alright. I'll protect you."

Calming someone during a panic/ anxiety attack is hard, by you learn things with time. The very first instinct is to hug them which helps them calm down.

Second. Whisper sweet words and reassure them at everything will be alright.

Third and the most important. Take them to quite place, and don't question them as it will only make them tear up more.

"You want to drink something? I'll bring some ice tea."

Ice tea, or some sweet beverage helps her calm down. She says they take her heaven for a second. Such little things mean a lot to someone who is deprived of attention and love. As fellow humans and friends, it's our responsibility to ensure our friends don't suffer in the darkness.

"Woo, let me hug. You feel so warm." I slide down beside as holds me tight.

Our grades weren't actually out yet. There are two weeks more till the university declares our results.

The prior incident where Y/n panicked is due to a clip which plays in her head. At first, I was left perplexed when this happened at the end of our first semester. Later when I confronted her about it, she explained a memory plays in her head like a movie and she's able to sense every emotion she felt in that very moment again.

The memory is of her mom scolding her when she failed the test. She vividly remembers how her mother bet her up that day. When y/n described to me the very scene, I reviled the moment with her. She then added since then, her mind goes into panic and fear invades her body if she fails or if she thinks she'll fail.

It hurts seeing her suffer, yet doesn't seek help when advised. So, I decided to comfort Y/n as long as fate keeps us together and Y/n promised she'll seek help when she feels she's ready to open up about everything.