A New Lease on Life

Parker

I was puking for the 7th time in the last 2 hours.

As of today, I am 11 weeks and 3 days pregnant with baby A and 9 weeks and 3 pregnant with baby B.

I still can't wrap my head around that fact.

After finding out I was pregnant I spend 2 weeks in France getting a jump start on treatment and testing and getting things settled before we all moved back to America.

I hobbled from the bathroom to lay down on my new sofa set.

I looked at my barely-there baby bump and smiled but I also felt this overwhelming feeling of sadness.

I hate this feeling. I hate that I have this illness that is keeping me from enjoying this pregnancy. I hate that I'm pregnant and the fathers of my children aren't with me.

Will they hate me when they realize that I slept with both of them?

Will they try to take me to court and take the kids away from me?

Will I even be there to watch these babies grow up? 

I wish things were different. I wish that I wasn't scared to death during an appointment. I wish I didn't have to fear that my cancer got worst or that I didn't have to pray that these treatments won't hurt my babies.

They aren't even born yet and they're already suffering. One of my babies is small, smaller than he or she should be because the serums that are keeping me alive are taking vital nutrients from them.

My innocent babies are suffering and I can't do a damn thing about it. At this moment I knew how mom felt when she saw me bleeding on the bathroom floor. I would do anything for these babies and they aren't even born yet. 

I feel like this is my fault. I decided to have unprotected sex with two people and now these innocent lives are suffering because I basically decided to be a whore.

What will they think of me? How could I be so reckless?

"Hey, Park do you want me to come with you?" Jake asked

"No. This is something I have to do alone. I was man enough to have sex with my boss, so I'm man enough to tell him that I'm sick and that one of my babies is his child." I said

"Okay, but if he gets pissed I'll beat his ass! I'll never let him set foot on one of my restaurants and if he gets someone to do it on his behalf I'll over salt the hell out of it" jake said making me laugh before he left to go back to his restaurant

We landed in America yesterday and mom is still working from home. She set up some appointments for me and even though I protested, Jake bought me a condo that is 3 blocks away from the hospital where I will be receiving treatment and hopefully delivering my babies.

Jake already had this place fully furnished before we even stepped on the plane to get back here.

With what little strength I had I got up from the sofa and took a shower. If I'm going to be meeting one of the fathers of my children I need to not look like a complete train wreck.

Once I got out of the shower I looked at my reflection. I was pale. You could see the bones protruding from my face. I had bruises on my skin from the needles that drew my blood for testing. My belly was slightly swollen and it looked like I had a big lunch.

The OBGYN in France said that both babies were small but that baby B was smaller than it should be due to the medication I was taking.

I placed a boney hand in my stomach and took a deep breath. I want these babies so badly. I want a family of my own and it breaks my heart that I might get to see these babies grow up.

Once I stopped feeling sorry for myself i dried my body and started to get dressed. My clothes were huge on me since I lost 23lbs since getting sick. I need to find a way to put that weight back on so that my babies are able to grow properly.

When I finally left my ridiculously large condo I hailed a cab. Technically the corporation was only 6 blocks walking distance, but walking will burn calories and those are calories that I need right now.

Because of traffic, it took nearly 20 minutes to get to the main building of my old job. While in traffic I called ahead and Jake was able to get someone to deliver lunch. If I'm going to tell the man I had a one-night stand with that baby A was his kid, I might as well do it over food. Plus I need to gain as much weight as I can since I'm supposed to start my first round of Chemo when Baby B turns 14 weeks.

It's still crazy that I'm pregnant. Not only because I have cancer but literally because I got pregnant by 2 different men. That's what I get for not taking birth control or the morning-after pill. I mean once it went 2 months of Asher and I not having sex I stopped my birth control pills. So basically I've been off birth control for over a year before I decided to hoe it up and fuck my boss and my ex-boyfriend.

As soon as I got out of the cab, a waiter by the name of Sid was waiting outside the building with my food. I know Jake pays his employees well and he even offers health insurance but I still tipped Sid $30.

I don't know what Jake was thinking. I order 2 dishes and this man sends me 7. I guess he's trying to help me put on weight too.

I walked into the building and walked to the private elevator. I used my personal PIN number and surprisingly it work. See Aiden is dumb. Had I been a disgruntled employee I would now have access to floors 20 - 30 which house Important information, Including his office.

Please please please let baby A inherit my brain. But if they get his looks then we're in trouble. That would be one good-looking baby and when he or she gets older they'll have boys and/or girls all over them.

Ugh let me not think about that stuff yet. I just need to focus on Carrying these babies to term.

When the elevator dinged to let me know I was on the floor where my old office was and also Aidens office I took another deep breath.

I had food, I have ultrasound photos, I have medical forms and the information regarding his baby.

I wanted Aiden to get tested. Hopefully, he would be a match for donation for baby A. God forbid this illness manifested in Baby A one day, I want him or her to have bone marrow stored as well as the stem cells that I want to be collected when he or she is born.

Of course, he'll do it. I mean it's his kid. What parents wouldn't want to make sure their child could be saved from an otherwise deadly illness.

As I passed by my old office I noticed that my plants were missing. I forgot to take them home. Now they're gone. The janitor probably trashed them after they died.

I passed another office and it had a desk as well as a computer set up.

Did Aiden get a new assistant? I mean I did quit suddenly so it's no surprise that he would get a new one.

Part of me wanted to snoop to see who this person was. If they're his assistant then that means that they'll be around him. Which means that they'll probably be in contact with my baby.

I'll have to talk that over with him. It may have been a one-night stand but I'm not going to deny him the right to see his baby. Plus if I die, he'll be the only parent left to raise him/her. 

I took one last breath before opening Aiden's office.

What I saw surely was a surprise.