Nearly Euphoric {Nate Jacobs}

Chapter 8

Umm... WHAT THE ACTUALLY HECK!!!! What is even happening right now. Nate and I have talked like three times since he and Maddy broke up. Ugh, I knew that comment about me looking cute wasn't something to just brush off. But what was I supposed to think? I've never been with a boy before. Besides, what exactly does he expect me to say back. I mean, he knows Maddy and I have been pretty good friends since middle school.

"Uh-- umm-- I--I," I stutter, trying to come up with something to say.

"Look, I know you're Maddy's friend, and I also know we haven't talked that much or anything. But I just feel like you're a better fit for me than Maddy. After the party, I realized you're actually chill and shit. You aren't some fucking psycho bitch like Maddy is," Nate says.

Is that supposed to be flattering? Like 'you're not insane like my ex-girlfriend, who also happens to be one of your closest friends, so I think we would work.' WHAT!? And the genuinely sad part of the whole thing is that I've sort of developed a crush on him too.

God, what is wrong with me?

"I-- I'm not really sure what to say. Even if I did like you..." (which I totally do, but I'm not going to tell him that)"...It's not as if I could ever date you, because that would kind of be the definition of 'breaking girl code'," I say putting finger quotes around that last part.

"I think you just like the idea of being with someone like me, but you wouldn't actually like it. And not to mention, I'm not even you're type anyway. I'm nothing like Maddy. I don't drink, and party, and do drugs. And let's be honest, you both enjoyed the constant bickering and fighting. You guys live for that in a relationship. I wouldn't be any fun for someone like you. I mean, I haven't even had my first kiss yet, let alone do the type of stuff you and Maddy were doing," I finish.

I wait for Nate to say something back, but he just kind of stares at me like he's fallen in love with me or something. But I'm not sure why what I just said would make him more into me. Like, the whole point was to explain why we wouldn't work and show him all the reasons that I'm not the kind of person he would date.

"Wait, so you're like... a virgin?" he asks me with a serious curiosity. Like, I've never seen Nate be so truly interested in a person the way he is with me right now.

"Uh... yeah... I told you at the party I've never had a boyfriend before," I say.

"Well yeah, but I figured you just hooked up with someone or something like that," he explained.

"Oh. Well, what does it matter anyway if I'm a virgin? Isn't that supposed to be like... embarrassing?" I ask.

"I just kind of have a thing for virgins. I know most guys think you're like a prude if you haven't had sex. But I think it's better because then I know you're not some whore who's slept with like a billion other guys," Nate tells me.

Okay, I did not need to know all of that. I would have been perfectly fine with a simple 'No of course it's not embarrassing. It's sweet that you waited.' Or something like that. I didn't need to know he has some kind of... fetish for virgins.

And also what is up with his completely sexist mindset? I mean, what did I expect? But still. Why should it be okay for a guy to sleep with as many girls as he wants, but then if a girl sleeps with even one guy, she's a whore?

"Wait, if you have a 'thing' for virgins, then why did you date Maddy?" I ask him, knowing full well that Maddy was not a virgin when she and Nate first met.

"What do you mean?" he questions.

"Well, it's just that Maddy wasn't a virgin when you started dating. I mean, I wouldn't exactly say she slept with a billion guys when you met, but she definitely was no virgin," I say.