Inner Demons

12

"Hey Penelope, what's up?" I say into the phone.
"Has Emily told you what tomorrow is?"
"No, what?"
"I figured she wouldn't have. She doesn't really like her birthday. But I was thinking-"
"Hold on, is it really her birthday tomorrow? I can't believe she didn't tell me."
"I was thinking we should have drinks or something to celebrate, just you and the rest of the team if they're back on time, and I was wondering..."
"Absolutely, I'll host."
"Great, thanks! Let me know a good time and I'll let everyone know."
"Will do. And Penelope? Thank you for making sure I know it's her birthday."
"Anytime! See you tomorrow."

"Welcome back," I say as Emily walks into my apartment the following afternoon. "And happy birthday." I say, kissing her on the cheek.
"How did you know it- Garcia."
"Yeah, and I can't believe you didn't think to tell me."
"I'm just not a fan of my birthday, please don't take it to heart."
"Too late. Anyways, I've invited your team to my place for drinks tonight. They've been instructed not to mention your birthday, so you can't disagree. And I'm working on a present for you, but it's not easy with less than a day's notice." I say, giving her an exaggerated glare at the last bit.
"I don't want anything but you," she says, pulling me up against her. I shove my phone in my pocket, then wrap my arms around her waist as she kisses me.
"Everyone is coming at 9, and I need-"
She cuts me off with her lips, the words dying in my throat.
"We have seven hours," she says. "Plenty of time for whatever you need, and more."
"It is your birthday," I concede, allowing her hands to work their way up my shirt. She grins as I lead her into my room and pull off my shirt.

The first knock on my door comes at precisely 9:00.
"Reid," she says as I go to open it. She's right of course, with Garcia in tow. She hugs Emily, then me, winking at me as Emily greets Reid. Hotch arrives shortly, with Rossi and Morgan. Finally, JJ arrives, with a man.
"You must be Will," I say, approaching for a hand shake. "I'm Katie, Emily's girlfriend."
"Lovely to meet you," he says, his thick Louisiana drawl making the words come out slow and barely understandable. Everyone makes their drinks, and we retreat to the couches.

My phone vibrates in my pocket as we all laugh at Garcia's impressions of the team members when drunk. It can only be Ivan, as everyone else is within my line of sight.
I quietly excuse myself with a squeeze of Emily's knee and make my way to the bathroom.
"One month." the text reads. I hadn't realized how little time I have left. In my mind I see the paper I found, the database code I was sent here to find, disintegrating in the wind. A pit forms in my stomach as I head back to the party. I smile as Emily kisses my cheek, but it's an empty one. All I can think of is Vanya, of what will happen to her if they found out I deliberately disobeyed. The blowback for not completing a job is fierce, but I can take it. I promised our parents I would protect her, and I've already failed to do that. To add to my list of worries, Emily. I'd bet that Ivan suspects my true feelings for her, and they could very well target her too. It seems I have a habit of putting those I care about in danger. My thoughts wander along this track for an indefinite amount of time before I'm brought back to reality by Emily standing up next to me. I look up from my cup to see the others getting up as well. I follow, not bothering to ask why. The clock on the microwave reads 12. Midnight. The time has passed without me noticing, and everyone is leaving. We say goodbyes, they thank me for hosting, I thank them for coming, the usual post-gathering humdrum. Emily approaches as I begin to clean up, leaning against the counter so that her face is inches from mine.
"When is your birthday," she asks.
"In the interest of fairness, I'll let you know the day before."
"That's not fair, I don't even like my birthday."
"What makes you think I like mine?" I tease. And it's true, I don't enjoy my birthday either.
"If you don't like birthdays either, why make me do something for it?"
"Because that's what a good girlfriend does."
She just rolls her eyes at me.
"Listen, if you won't tell me, I'll find out."
"Yeah, good luck with that."
"Thank you. I should probably head home though, I haven't seen Sergio in a while."
"Absolutely. See you tomorrow?"
"See you," she says, pulling my face to hers for a long kiss. I watch as she leaves, every concern from before returning as she shuts the door. I've royally fucked this up, but at least I have her for a little while longer.

As I'm entering the grocery store the next day, my phone buzzes.
"Come over when you get the chance" reads the text from Emily.
"Be there in 30." I respond. I grab what I need, and head home to put it away before I go to her place. The door is unlocked when I try the handle, so I walk in. I can see her dark hair over the back of the couch as I walk in.
"Hey," I say. She doesn't respond, just waving me over. I walk over, sitting down in the chair across from her. The air feels thick, and the look on her face makes my stomach turn.
"Is something wrong?" I ask her cautiously.
"Who are you?" she asks. "And don't bother lying."