Incandescent | H.S

Part Thirty-Eight: Honey & Havens

Harry was quiet as he drove you through the streets of London and back towards your apartment. The two of you had left the event after quick goodbyes and Harry could feel his chest slowly easing up. You guessed his muteness was there so he could wade through his thoughts, so you thought it best to leave him to it. You were there if he needed you and he knew that. He was grateful that you knew how to calm him down but his worries were still there, a reeled in anxiety attack would hardly get rid of that. That was something you both knew.

"Can we... go somewhere else?"

His words broke the silence and as you turned to look at him, it was apparent he was still in his head.

"Somewhere else?"

He gave you a warm smile as he stopped at a red light. "I want to show you something."

He didn't give you any further insight but you trusted him to know best. If he knew how he wanted to handle his anxiety, you'd be with him. To help him, to be a source of support and love.

"Okay." You reached for his hand and left a plush kiss on each knuckle. His heart careened and soared because each peck was more healing than the last. Like biting into a ripe cherry or golden sunshine beaming on bare skin.

Harry changed the course, zipping down a side street and heading towards Greenwich. He parked and got out, racing around to open your door for you. Always such a gentleman.

Greenwich Park was beautiful that time of the evening. The sun had almost set and ignited the sky into a milky pink and orange that melted into the darkening night, obscure and peaceful. London sat exciting and bright and full of life, twinkling endearingly.

Harry led you through the park, up a small hill, and careened somewhere off the path. You tried to manage in your heels and Harry was patient but ended up carrying you bridal style for the short journey.

It was secluded, the view of London hidden temporally behind the expanse of a large tree. It was the kind of tree you saw in fairy tales. Wild and robust roots, branches hanging full of leaves. The sky was a deep, hazy violet by the time you made it to the spot. Harry sat on one of the roots as if it were a seat, and he'd clearly done so many times. He faced the city as a whole and turned to look at you.

He tapped the space next to him and you rushed to join him. He wrapped his arm around you and kissed your temple.

"I used to come here a lot. When the band first started." He stared out at the city, so beautiful and uncomplicated from that high up. "It was nice to get away from everything and everyone and just be alone. I'd spend hours sitting here thinking about how lucky I was. Am. Had no idea how crazy things were gonna get."

"It's not luck, you deserve to be where you are today. You're so gifted and amazing at what you do."

He smiled, so grateful to hear you speak that way. He often wondered if his ego made him too cocky. Yes, he knew he was talented, knew his career existed because of how good he was at what he did. But he'd never be one to dismiss the work of the universe and whatever higher power got him to where he was. Sometimes he wondered if it was fate.

"When I was younger, I was so busy being excited. Getting out of Holmes Chapel, making money, traveling the world with the most amazing guys, having thousands of fans scream my name every night. It's still just as incredible now, but I've grown into it. I'm finding myself both as a person and as a musician. I can be who I want musically but I'm still trying to figure out the person part. I don't think I know who I am."

"No one truly knows who they are, Harry. Especially at our age. You're still so young and have so much impact to leave in the world. You're on the right path, you're in the right mindset. You have so much time for it to come to you and you've grown so much already."