I was waiting in my backyard with Lucy, my golden retriever. I don't know who or what I am waiting on, but I am. I hear the door open inside, and later my sister, Amelia comes outside. She looks as though I'm crazy for being out here during winter. Which I partly am.
"Jasmine, what are you doing out here?" asked Amelia.
I reply in a whisper that sounds like I'm in another world, "Watching the world."
She gives me a quiziling look before going inside.
"Yes, that's it," I tell myself, "I am watching the world" even though I know its not true.
***
"Jasmine!" mom calls me from downstairs
"Yes" i quickly answer afraid she'll get mad if I dont. Nowadays after Dad left us we never know what she'll do, but I always have to make sure she's not hitting the others and take the blow for them.
"Come downstairs and talk to me."
Oh shit I say to myself, this can't be good if she wants to talk face to face.
"Yes mother," I reply sighing.
"Hahaha Jazzies in trouble!" smirks my 13 year old brother, Ramsies.
"Shut up before your mouth is down ur throat,"I angrily reply already in a bad mood because I failed yet another test. I haven't had time for school in a very long time, since I have to take care of nine other people and a crazy mother.
My brother looks like he's about to explode with laughter, says "Good one Jazzie now make me really scared."
By then I've had enough, I push him out of the way beiges stomping downstairs.
My mother calls me again not even caring about the huge crash from me pushing Ramsies out of the way into a wall. That's how it is these days, you want your way, your gonna have to fight for it, literally.
"Yes ma'am," I reply.
Once I'm in the kitchen she ushers me to our table, or what used to be the table. Now its legs are broken and is missing 2 out of 5 chairs. Ever since my father left, we've had even more trouble with money. I don't really miss him due to me being his punching bag practically. I got sent to the ER twice and bloodied up since I was 8.
"Mrs. Parker, your principal," she stressed the last part, "called today."
"oh," I said rather hopelessly.
"I am very disappointed in ur grades miss," replies my rather sassy mother even though I know she doesn't actually care. She's probably just acting like a caring mother so we don't hate her more.
I thought it over and finally answered her by saying, "Well I'm not that into it since Becca left, she always helped me"
"Honey your sister is gone and isnt coming back till christmas"
"Mom we both know Becca isn't coming back," I said my voice turning serious.
"Of course she is," she puts on a fake smile and looks about to sob.
I sigh before answering trying to figure out the best way to put this, "mom don't you think she would've come back two years ago?" I asked her referring to when my only older sibling left us for her boyfriend. I can only hope she's doing well and that he treats her right.
Mom looks into space so I make it my time to leave. I grab my car keys and walk to the banged up Ford sitting in the driveway.
When I get into my car I immediately leave the driveway. I arrive 12 miles out of town. Then call Ryder, my best friend he's 6 foot 2, messy dark brown wavy hair, straight teeth, muscular, and the best thing is that he has a great personality. around 8:10 he arrives where I am. Ryder gets out of his car and goes in mine. I write in my journal and write the earlier events.
When I am done Ryder takes me into his big arms and kisses my forehead. I've always wondered if he wanted to date me, but I was always to scared to ask.
"Tell me," Ryder's words are so softly spoken and nice they break my heart.
"I cant," is all i say back.
Ryder looks hurt but I dont want to talk right now I like it just laying here with him and him holding me close.
"Promise me then," he says threateningly, "That one day u will tell me everything that goes on."
"In time my heart will shatter, but love will not break that."
"Amen Jaz amen."
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Excellent Words
ChickLitJasmine is trying to find her way in the world. Little does she know that in order to find her way she needs to find herself.