A Day Without Rain

Before it Breaks

That Tuesday was taking a while to end. To both of them.
Derek wanted to go home more than anything. He felt alone in that place without Meredith, even that was only the second day of work.
Meredith was working at home. Once she got back on the night before her husband was waiting for her on the couch.

"Where the hell where you? It's almost 3 in the morning on a Monday night and you just got home now. What the fuck is going on? Are you cheating on me? Tell me."
Meredith had never seen him like that before. He was red, exploding with anger.

"I was in the bar, with my sister that I haven't seen for ages and a few friends that I made today. You should be happy for me and not wanting to kill me. If I was cheating on you do you really think that I'd come back home knowing that you'd be awaked? Really? You think I'm that stupid? I expected more from you Phill."
She was mad inside, but not because he was angry or anything. She was tired of all that stuff. She didn't want to give him explanations even though she knew that he wasn't 100% wrong as her husband.

"Okay. I'm sorry. It's just..." He took a deep breath
"I think you don't love me anymore. Or at least it's not like it was before. I feel like I care so much more about you that you care about me. I miss you Meredith. I miss when we were deeply in love. You used to want to come home after work to see me, to stay with me. You liked to spend time with me and now I feel like you're avoiding me. You're always at work or working at home or at Cristina's. I know you don't see each other like you used to but come on, I'm your husband, the man you said you'd love until we die. "
There were some tears on his eyes but he didn't want to cry.

"I'm sorry Phill. I really am. I still love you but like you said I don't think we are like we used to be. We were the perfect couple, we were always happy but you know that we haven't been like that for a while. Since I came back from Dubai your relationship is not the same and I don't blame you. I can't tell what's going on."
She was sad. For real. Even not being in love with him like she has been in the past she cared about him, at the end of the day, he was her friend.

"Come here." He opened his arms and offered her a hug.
They hugged for a while, as long as she felt safe in his arms, she didn't want it to happen. She rather be mad because if things stayed like that she wouldn't be able to go out with Derek like everything was normal in two days.
She was falling for him and she knew that she couldn't be a bitch with her husband, who was still in love with her.

"I can't. I don't know what's going on but it's with me. I swear it's not about you Phillip but I can't sleep here tonight. We have issues that we have to solve before we pretend that nothing's happening. We can't do it anymore. Postpone things. This is wrong and not like a marriage should be, you know that. I'm going to stay at Cristina's and we can talk tomorrow when I get back from work."
She took his arms off her and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Derek was all over her head. She couldn't stop it. And the situation with Phillip wasn't helping so go to Cristina's would be the best thing to do.

"Oh Mer you're kidding me. I really thought everything was okay but I want to understand what the problem is. Yes I got that you're distant and we both changed but don't you want to get back to the way it was before? You're postponing things now going out."

"Want to resolve things now? Ok. I have no idea what happened but I'm feeling just the way I was when I decided to call off our wedding and I'm thinking over and over again if we should be together by now. We have different interests and you know that."
After she said that she realized what she have done. She was telling the truth but it'd hurt her husband. She could never say that she was in love with a man she just met. It wouldn't be rational. But she was. Maybe love at the first sight.

"Are you saying we should have never gotten married?"
Phillip's eyes filled up with tears. He couldn't believe in what she was saying. Meredith was the love of his life.

"No. I don't know Phillip. I just don't. I'm confused."
Meredith sat in the couch and stared down trying to figure out what to do.

"Do you want to take a break? Couple's therapy? There are options. We can do it. I love you, Meredith Grey. I really do and I think that deep down you love me too. Think about the day we got married. We were so happy. When you were walking down the isle with that big smile on your face. The look of joy in your eyes. How can it be gone by now?"
He sat next to her and held her hand.

"Please stay. I don't want you to leave me. Please Meredith."

"Let's go to bed then. I can't discuss with you now. I'm too tired."
She grabbed his hand and went to the bedroom. Her PJs were in the closet but she decided to take a shower first. Once she got in she heard some noises on the bathroom door.
"Can I join you?" Phillip was half naked and had a look on his face that she hadn't seen for a long time.

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