LOST

Chapter 13. Heart Vs Mind

The hardest battle you ever fight with your life is Heart Vs Mind. One side your heart wants to beat for that person and the other side your emotionless brain wants you to forget these feelings.

But what about the security and warmth that love provides?

But what about the tears your love provides?

There are many lives which will be affected by this decision, will it be good or bad?

~♥~

Life is confusing, one moment you try to run away from a person and in the other moment you become more closer to them. You won't even realise but everything just passes in blink of an eye.

I am not that of a fool to not understand what mess up I am doing, yet these feelings don't fade away instead they just increase more and what is confusing is the solace I find with him.

Never I feel so much peace while I do with him, it feels so different and soulful.

These feelings are so beautiful. It really is but it haunts me again and again, Ian's face with that betrayal flashes in front of my eye and the saddest part about betrayal is that you receive it from the closest person.

You think they might be the last one to hurt you but actually they are the ones who possess power of breaking us. We don't even realize but we keep our heart in their hands hoping to receive sheer tenderness and care.

And when they just stomp over it, it breaks. It really hurts when someone even thinks of doing it, it is just inhuman. When your heart breaks for the first time, it doesn't heals completely. There are cracks in it and it scares you from falling in love again.

I think I am afraid to get happy again, whenever I had a genuine smile on my face, destiny snatched it away from me. It's not the love I am afraid of instead fear of getting hurt from the last person you've imagined.

It's hard to trust when all you got from the past is betrayal, distrusting is more easier. Huh, What a tragedy life made me, distrusting is easier than trusting!

The day he betrayed me, I didn't die physically but something deep inside me was brutally killed. It was my love, my emotions and my trust.

I chuckled sarcastically, right! TRUST. A word, just five lettered yet holds the biggest power over someone. Many people think that love is the biggest requirement in a relationship but many fail to understand that it is trust. It holds everything for a relationship.

Even though when Ian cheated on me, a part of me still loves him immensely because of what he did. And I am afraid what if I lose Ashton the same way I lost Ian? I am afraid to lose him when he's not even mine!

My heart is constantly murmuring to me about my feelings while my mind is shouting at me for the reason I entered his life. Meeting him was planned by me, getting this job was planned by me, this whole damn game was planned by me but there feelings weren't planned by me!

They were never part of this game of mine. When I am with him, I just forget the whole reason I am here. They wanted me to do this but never what I am doing now!

But a selfish part of my heart just want to forget every motive, every game, every move just everything.

Between all the shits going on in my life I just forgot that Macey went to Paris, that too on such a short notice.

I banged my forehead, Gosh I need to call her, what if she needs my help in something.

But I firstly called candy, but this man! It was ringing, ringing and ringing but he didn't pick up the call. Ugh! OK so my last option left is, calling Macey.