LOST

Chapter 11. Feelings

She didn't knew what those warm fuzzy feelings were, she didn't understood why his warmth calmed her demons down. She couldn't understand why his care soothed her scars and felt safe in his embrace.

An unknown feeling settled in her heart, a part wanting to receive that attention and a part of her mind demanding her to stay away from him.

What a tragedy life made her, it's not that she doesn't wants to let him in but it is all dark there and when she would let him in. It will be too dark and he might leave, She can't bear it all again.

This time she might not able to survive.....

~♥~

Have you ever felt a sting in your heart just because your loved ones are hurt? That is what I am exactly feeling from yesterday, seeing her all broken and emotionally exhausted.

She had a side of hers which she tried to hide from everyone of us with her coldness but in reality, she was all miserable from inside. She is still scared which makes me scared.

Scared, what if I hurt her? What if I do something that will remind her of her past and she again might have panic attacks.

And what if I lose her?

No.

I shuddered at the mere though, that is the last thought I would ever like to imagine.

She entered my life without any warning but had my heart even before I could say no. I lost myself in her embrace and right now having her in my arms, I understood one thing.

Before, I thought I just wanted her in my life, by my side. But right now I realised I just don't want her but I needed her in my life.

She became my sanity.

But lying in my arms with dried tear strains on her face, it hurts me to see her in pain. She should be bossing me around, glaring at me for becoming a fool, should make me forget that I am her boss.

Maybe I was never able to notice the tears she holds back everyday, I wish someday she would trust me enough to tell me her past. Even if she doesn't wills to still, I will try, I will try to become her friend first. Who would guide her out of the darkness. 

I just wanted to keep staring at her, the peace on her face she has while sleeping. How her lips slightly parts, or the messy locks of hair that falls upon her forehead.

Her even breathing fell upon my chest and her hands were tightly wrapped around my torso as if I will leave her any moment.

How much I wanted to scream that I would never leave her but all I could do right now was stay quiet and peer at her.

A soft sigh escaped from my lips as she tightened her hold around me. Her lips slightly touched my skin, making me shiver at the contact. I breathed out slowly and kept by palm on her back.

She slightly stirred in her sleep and shifted sideways, opening her eyes slowly. Her hazel orbs locked with my pale green ones, she looked at me dazed, as if not believing that I am actually here.

Her hands slowly made their way towards my cheeks and she touched it slightly.

" Ashton! " she whispered, hastily.

I nodded with a smile and she frantically got up, startling me. But instantly regretted her decision when she held her head, it might be paining I guess.

" Alaia, wait I am getting water for you" I said and quickly walked to the kitchen to fetch water for her.

When I returned, she was rubbing her temples slightly. I made her drink water and she looked a bit better.