We are lying on Jisung's bed, watching a movie: Howl's moving castle, Jisung's favorite movie, digging a few times in the packet of crisps placed between Jisung and me. Between my legs settled Minho, snuggling up to me like a cat. I smile at the thought, stroking his brown hair gently. I easily notice the little glances that Jisung gives us, and I also see his little pout. He does the same when he sees kittens. We're good, the three of us. I feel good here. I feel me. I don't stop running my hand through my hair, enjoying feeling the shaved side under the pulp of my fingers.
Bedtime comes, and the two boys both prefer to sleep in Jisung's room, letting me sleep in what happens to be my new room, at least temporarily. I take out my pack of cigarettes and light one, going to the window not to poison the house. I feel the smoke inside my lungs and I blow it out, watching the dark starless sky. Tears begin to bead from the corners of my eyes, a force far more powerful than I remember all my misadventures. Fear takes me to the guts and I have only one fear: to be abandoned. What would I do if I found myself being alone again? I am only me because others consider me, but if they were no longer there, then what would happen to me? With these foolish thoughts, I crush my cigarette against my already bruised skin and tears accumulate on my hollow cheeks.
- So that's where your scars come from?
I turn around quickly, crushing my cigarette when I meet Minho's gaze, as he leans against the bedroom wall.
- I wondered where did they come from, and I especially hoped not to see others.
He chuckles, as if he was blaming himself for his own naivety. How long has he been here? He stands up, not breaking our visual exchange, and approaches me.
- I can't force you to stop, I can't blackmail you emotionally into quitting. I am bound hand and foot because it is your body and I have no say in it.
His hand rests on my bare arm and his gaze falls on it.
- I only hope for one thing...
His lips meet my recent burn and I shiver at the touch.
- That I will manage to make you happy enough for you to make the decision yourself to stop.
At the end of his sentence, his eyes meet mine again and I am paralyzed.
My tears no longer flow but my limbs are shaking. He then lets go of me and goes to close the window, thinking that the cold is the reason for these tremors while the real reason is those words, his face. The real reason my heart is beating right now is him.
I walk over to him and frame his face with my hands. His eyes move from my lips to mine. He smiles softly and I can't help but get our two mouths to meet, as if they are in need of each other. As if a single minute without them intertwining was a waste minute. His arms wrap around my slender waist and his hands crawl on my back. I lower my hands to his neck, deepening our kiss. Our two bodies meet, making me smile in the exchange. He pushes me slightly, making me sit on the bed and then he climbs above me. Our lips meet again, and I bite his bottom lip, making him sigh. My hands play with the bottom of his white T-shirt and I slip one underneath, stroking his abs under his incessant sighs. He slides us onto the bed, lying on his back as I slide between his legs. My kisses meet his jaw so well drawn, then my tongue begins to lick the few light marks I make on his neck. I feel my stomach twist under the sight of Minho sighing of pleasure. His soft moans as I bit his earlobe reaching my ears like the most beautiful of melodies.
We then separate, out of breath, and I lie down next to him, resting my head on his chest.
- I'm sorry I can't make you feel as good as you deserve...
His fingers tangled in my hair and an adorable little laugh breaks through the barrier of his lips.
- This is not what I expect by being with you, sex is just a plus. And you know... There are many other ways to have fun... I'll teach you more when we are there.
I look up and meet his gaze, a smirk on my face.
- And why not tonight?
He chuckles before placing a brief kiss on my lips.
- I don't fuck the first night!
- That's good, since it's the second!
He can't help but bite his lip, groaning in frustration.
- At least let's have our first date!
I nod and let myself go into his arms, falling pretty quickly asleep.
YOU ARE READING
Not A Girl- Minbin
Fanfic"Changbin is a boy. That's what he keeps telling his parents who don't accept him. However, when he meets Minho at a party, he finally sees the possibility of appearing under his real self. " I translated my own story (from @SunSungie) into English...
