All the little things (Clairo)

The sad departure

You both are just looking at each other silently and then check the time. It's 3am and you quickly scrambled out of bed and start getting ready for your flight, Claire does the same thing, you thank her for letting you stay and she says you can keep the hoodie and sweats she gave you and you just smile at her.

She says she can drop you to the airport and you tell her it's fine you still need to go and get your stuff from your apartment it's a bit far away from Claire's house and then she goes

Claire: "yesterday when you fell asleep I couldn't fall asleep and I was thinking how I can help you be quicker tomorrow so I went and got your stuff for you".

Y/n: "Thank you Claire, I appreciate it"

Claire: "No problem, let me take you to the airport now"

Claire sounds a bit sad when she says that. Fast forward a couple minutes into the drive on the way to the airport Claire makes conversation 

Claire: "I'm going to come visit you every weekend y/n I promise I will try my hardest"

Y/n: "awww I'd love that Claire but aren't you gonna be busy?"

Claire: " I will always make time for you y/n"

You smile at her comment and you guys laugh and joke around and after a while you arrive at the airport. Suddenly it's all gone quiet and eerie and you start to notice little things and things in general that you didn't before.

Claire walks you in and as your flight is straight away there's no waiting around. You have to go into the gate to board your plane then your off you and Claire look like your in the verge of tears.

Y/n: "Well this looks like our departure"

Claire: "Yeah I guess"

Y/n: "I am going to miss you so much Claire it's actually crazy, I've never missed anyone this much"

Claire: "That makes me feel special, I'm going to miss you really really badly aswell"

Then one of the flight employees says last chance to enter gate b which is your gate

Claire: "Looks like you've got to go now"

Y/n: "I guess so"

Y/n: "I love you Claire I really mean it"

Wait what did I say? Omg tell me I didn't say that 

Claire: "I love you to y/n and I mean it aswell"

She gave you a cheek kiss and you blush, you were about to do something but then someone called out last and final chance to enter gate b so you have to run you wave and blow a kiss.

Fast forward a bit, your on the plane about an hour into your journey, thankfully you and Lizzie got seats right next to each other and your chatting as Lizzie is your best friend she can tell when somethings up.

Lizzie: "What's happened y/n?"

Y/n: "Nothing.."

Lizzie: "Don't lie to me, I know when somethings up and you know you can tell me"

You sigh and tell her the earlier events about you and Claire

Lizzie: "Oh my god yessss"

Y/n: "Yep"

Lizzie: "I'm proud of you for coming out of your comfort zone"

Y/n: "Thank you"

Lizzie: "I can tell your missing Claire and that your doubting she's going to come see you"

You nod and you always wonder how Lizzie knows this and then you realise..

Y/n: "OH MY GOD NO"

The people around you are starting to look at you

Lizzie: "Oh no what's happened y/n"

Y/n: "I never told Claire what uni I was going to or where I'm staying"

Lizzie: "Oh my god y/n how did you forget to tell her, wait you have her number right? Message her!"

Y/n: "I just can't bring myself to it"

Lizzie: "Y/n give me your phone I'll do it"

Your stubborn and don't give her your phone. She can tell your upset so she just leaves you to it as you refuse to speak to Lizzie or Claire. You plug your headphones on and shuffle your music, Flaming Hot Cheetos play and it brings back the memories of the picnic date, you quickly skip it, you just can't bring yourself to it and it causes you to overthink what if Claire hates me?

You skip Flaming Hot Cheetos and the next song plays. The Adults Are Talking- The Strokes and when it gets to the part "Don't go there cause you'll never return, I know you think of me when you think of her" and then the rest of the song causes you to overthink, you love this song generally but I don't think now is the best time to be playing it...

The song starts to make you think about what could change and is it going to be the same? You start thinking if Claire moves on and finds someone else and forgets about you. That makes you start shedding silent tears, you turn to face the window because you don't want anyone to see you crying.

Quite a few hours have passed and Lizzie was gone for about 15 minutes but she's back now and she attempts to speak to you again.

Lizzie: "Hey y/n.."

Y/n: "Hey Lizzie.."

She passes you something and it's a little box full of all your favourite snacks, it was quite a big box.

Y/n: "OMG THANK YOU LIZZIE YOU SHOULDNT HAVE"

You give her a big hug and everyone is looking at you because your being so loud.

Lizzie: "of course you sewer rat no problem anything to cheer you up"

You start looking through the box and talking about your passion for all these snacks and you can see from the corner of your eye Lizzie eyes have widened and your wondering why..

Lizzie: "Hey y/n look how pretty the sky is outside!"

Your a sucker for beautiful views, sunsets and skies so you instantly turn your head. She quickly takes something out of the box.

Y/n: "haha Lizzie very funny if you wanted something you should've asked, I would've given it to you"

Lizzie doesn't laugh, she looks pretty serious and you've never seen her look like that.. you think back to all your favourite snacks and then realise..

Y/n: "I know what you took out the box, honestly I'm fine it's okay"

Lizzie: " I know you aren't y/n, your still thinking of you know who"

Y/n: "No I'm not, I wouldn't mind having them back though.."

Lizzie passes you the Flaming Hot Cheetos back. You look at the, for a couple of seconds and realise you told Lizzie you where somewhat over Claire but obviously she wouldn't believe you, she can see right through you and you know your lying to yourself, you miss Claire, you want to be in her presence again, her arms again..

Y/n: "Wanna split these? I know their your favourite"

Lizzie: "If that's okay with you, yes please"

Y/n: "of course"

Lizzie: "I completely forgot these were in here, sorry y/n"

Y/n: "honestly it's fine"

Lizzie: "If I'd remembered then I would've snatched them outta that box and ate them"

You laugh quietly, you open the bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos and put them in the middle for you both to share.

Lizzie: "These are definitely going to be gone by the end of our flight"

Y/n: "agreed"

A couple hours later you plane journey has ended, it's time to get off the plane and now it's the start of a new era...