Fallen (Shoto Todoroki x fem reader)

26. Funeral

There I stood.

Looking at the gravestone.

I let out a sigh.

"Every day I'm reminded of you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry that you had to go. I'm sorry that I disappointed you in many ways" I said with tears in my eyes.

I put the flowers down and looked at the sight that was in front of me. My aunt's grave. I hadn't visited her in half a year.

As I made my way to the bus stop, I was reminded of Shoto. He has been in a coma. It's been almost 2 months. I visit him every single day after school.

Word spread about what happened. People think of him as a hero. In a sense, he sacrificed himself to save me. Shin was about to kill me, but Shoto saved me. In return, I did this to him. I hurt him so much. I'm constantly reminded of the sight that was in front of me. He was coughing up blood. He was bleeding everywhere. Blood was streaming down his face. How could I live with myself after what I did.

The doctors don't know whether he will wake up or not. It pains me every day. At school I get stares from people. They know that I did this to him.

His father, Endeavor, hated my guts even more than he already did.

I made my way to the hospital after school. "Name please?" the woman asked. "I'm here for Todoroki" I said. The woman checked my identity and then looked at me. "You have visited him every single day for about 8 weeks now" she said. I looked at the ground. I was ashamed. How could I not visit him every day. I did this to him in the first place.

"I want to make sure he's alright" I said before walking towards the elevator.

I got to his room and knocked on the door before entering. The doctor was inspecting him. "How is he doing?" I asked. "Not good" the doctor said.

My heart dropped.

"His breathing is very unstable. His heart beat is very faint. He's slowly weakening" he said. This can't be. How can I live with myself if Shoto dies? "Please doctor" I said, tears forming in my eyes. "Do your best for him" I begged. The doctor nodded and put a hand on my shoulder. "We will do whatever we can for him" he reassured me.

Once he left the room, I sat down next to Shoto's bed. I held his hand. I did this every day. I would hold his hand and tell him about my day. How much I missed him, his presence, his voice, his smile, his comfort, and wise words. I liked to believe that he could actually hear me.

"Today was a normal day. School was kind of boring. A lot of people hate me for what I did to you. Others think it wasn't my fault since I was controlled. I now know how you felt after our combat fight. The only reason I didn't get expelled is because you're not a UC student anymore and because a villain was involved. Apparently that changes everything" I said and sighed.

"I still miss you every day" I said. The tears immediately formed in my eyes. "You're a hero Shoto" I said. "You're my hero" I added as I wiped a tear off my face. "You have always been good to me" I said and looked at the scar on my arm. "No matter what people said" I cried. "You will always be my hero" I said. "What you did in order to save me.. I have no words. The braveness that you have is indescribable. You're so strong, kindhearted, and smart" I said and started crying in my hands.

"Why couldn't it be me" I cried. "You don't deserve this Shoto. You're too good, to be suffering so much. Everything you have to go through at home and at school. You always have to suffer. You don't deserve any of it" I said. "I just want you to be happy" I added.

"I remember when you got frustrated because you wanted to make me happy" I started. "But why can't I make you happy" I cried out. "I caused you to go through so much suffering. Your dad got mad at you, the school expelled you, everyone hated you, you got mentally destroyed, and now I had the audacity to physically hurt you as well" I said frustrated. My hands were shaking, my legs were shaking, my breath hitched in my throat.

"I just want to hold you in my arms and tell you everything will be alright" I sobbed.

It got silent for a while.

I didn't know what to say. All I felt were embarrassment, frustration, and guilt.

"I'm sorry miss y/l/n your time is up" I heard behind me.

I grabbed my bag and gave him one more look before leaving.