Let me love you | Merluca

1 - try

Andrew's perspective

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Trying. All he did the last few months was trying. Trying to do his best to be there for Theo. Trying to figure out how to be a dad. Trying to put his life back together. Trying to get better. Trying to accept his life. Trying to move on. Trying to start new. A lot of trying ... and not being sure if he would ever be able to succeed in just one of these things. But at least he was trying, right?

.

Andrew had just woken up, when he went through his messages and saw that Anna, Theo's new babysitter, wouldn't be able to be there in time, because she was stuck in traffic. Great, as if I needed more uncertainty and stress today...

He quickly texted Carina, asking her to watch Theo. And he didn't need to wait long for her response. At least one thing that was going right today. And if he was honest, he wasn't sure what he would have done without her the past few months. She has always showed up when he needed her. If it wasn't for her, he wasn't sure he would be here today, trying to get back to where he has been before. And at the same time, he already knew that it never will be like before again. He shook his head trying to get rid of his thoughts and went up to look after Theo.

Theo was Andrew's little sunshine. And he was probably the reason why he still tried not to give up, besides Carina. He wanted to be there for him as much as he could because Theo only deserved the best. He has already been through so much with only one year. Sometimes he was not sure how much Theo noticed of everything going on around him. But he felt bad only thinking about it. Theo deserved so much better.

"Good morning Theo." Andrew said softly, carefully pulling him out of his bed, taking him in his arms and going over to the kitchen with him to feed him.

While he was slowly waking up and eating, Andrew quietly hummed an Italian song, like he always did in the morning. Theo liked it. He needed a little time after his naps and especially in the morning, but once he was awake, he was the brightest little sunshine. He always laughed when Andrew started to sing. He wasn't sure if it was because he liked it or because it sounded so weird to him that he had to laugh. Theo probably didn't overthink it as much as he did... But it made Andrew happy to see him laugh, so it became a part of their little morning routine.

A few minutes later, he heard Carina coming inside. She had made herself a key, so she could be there for them after everything that had happened the past few months.

Andrew saw her stopping, looking at them once she came inside the kitchen and saw them. Theo on his lap, while he tried to feed him. As always, it ended in a little chaos, but he didn't care, as long as Theo was happy.

"Why are you still in your pajama? Aren't you supposed to go to work?" His sister asked, looking at him disbelievingly.

"I know, I know. But he didn't let me go." He pointed at Theo on his lap, smiling back at Carina, trying to sound completely serious, making her shake her head, while rolling her eyes. "Maybe I should stay today." Andrew added with the same smile, but with an underlying worry in his voice. And Carina, as his sister knew him well enough to know that even though he meant to say it as a joke, it wasn't far from the truth.

"Andrea, you need to go to work."

"And you don't need to go to work?"

"I do, but I don't need to make a good impression today. Because it's not my first day today."

"You are not helping!"

"Because you are not thinking rational enough right now."

"Carina, you know how much I love to work, you know how much I want to be a doctor, but..." Andrew was looking at Theo on his lap again. Just the thought of leaving him alone - okay he wasn't alone - but the thought of not being with him the whole day was uncomforting.

"Okay, you know what? Anna was here five times over the past two weeks and Theo was fine with her being here. And do you know another thing? Anna was perfectly capable to take care of Theo. So, go and get ready for work!"

"But..."

"I won't leave until I made sure that I can leave him with Anna without having any doubts!" She added with a sympathetic smile, trying to assure him that it would be okay. That Theo would be okay.

"Thank you, Carina!" And then Andrew finally went up to get ready for work, letting Carina take care of Theo.

Maybe this is why she hated the mess I made while feeding him so much. Because now she needed to clean it up... Andrew quickly shook his head, laughing slightly and then tried to get everything he would need today together.

A few minutes later - maybe a little more - he was ready to leave for work. He went over to Theo to give him a kiss to his forehead, while he took him in his arms.

"I already miss you. I can't wait to be back this evening. I love you, Theo." Andrew whispered, pressing another kiss into his hair before he had to leave.

...

try / ˈtrī / verb
to make an effort to do something

to try to look forward

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This was the first chapter... It is a little different from the show, but I wanted to explore a possible relationship between them under different circumstances... :)

I hope you like it! :)