Let me love you | Merluca

10 - talk

Andrew's perspective

...

They had been working on their case for a few days now and it finally seemed like they were making progress, but somehow Meredith seemed more distant than the days before. It's not like she was actively treating him differently but there weren't those small conversations and changed looks in between anymore and when he found her looking at him she quickly turned away. And he might know what bothered her. But he didn't need to explain himself. He was just taking care of himself and that was something good.

He took a deep breath, trying to make his thoughts stop and focus on his paperwork again. Without success. Even if he wanted to talk to her about it, about the why, he wasn't sure he could. It's not like he didn't want to talk about it, he has always been someone who had to let his feelings out rather sooner than later, but this... It made him keep things to himself...

He looked up again in another attempt to get away from the thoughts that were running through his mind over and over again, when after a moment, he felt her looking at him, turning her head away as soon as she saw that he noticed her.

"Did I do something or... is something wrong?" He asked, trying to end his question a little calmer than he started it, not able to keep it inside him anymore, and at the same time reminding himself that she didn't deserve his bad mood.

"No. It's nothing." She quickly looked up at him, seeming slightly surprised before she turned towards the work in front of her again.

Even though they didn't knew each other for that long, he had spent enough time with her to see that something was bothering her. Probably he himself since she barely looked at him that day, even though she tried to hide it. Andrew kept observing her for some moments while she was pretending to read the papers in front of her. Only that they were the wrong way around. Seemed like he wasn't the only who couldn't focus that day. He had to smile a little to himself.

He looked at her for another minute before he brought up the courage inside him to bring up that topic or better said the one that would come with it. "Is this about the on-call room yesterday?"

"I-" She turned her head towards him as he ended his question, seeming at a loss for words for a short time "I just- I didn't expect you to be at the hospital after you said you needed to leave." She answered, seeming more confused than actually judging him as he had expected. Now he was confused as well.

"I- I had been through... a difficult time that... taught me to take care of myself... And..." He answered slightly hesitantly, trying to put his reason into a sentence. He wished he was able to talk about what happened during that time more deeply, but he wasn't there, yet. Maybe at some point.

"I'm sorry." She gave him a small smile. "And I'm sorry... I shouldn't have..."

"It's okay." He gave her a small smile as well. "Just... Next time maybe ask me instead of pretending to read that article for an hour." He smiled at her slightly, trying to lighten the conversation.

"Andrew!" She exclaimed, complaining half-heartedly. She looked at the paper in front of her for a short time before she turned towards him again. "What gave me away?"

"It's the wrong way around." He had to chuckle slightly, soon joined by her chuckling as well as she saw that he was right.

They looked at each other, still with a smile as their laughing got quieter.

"Usually I'm pretty good at pretending." She tried to give him a small smile between her words.

"I have gotten good at it as well." He took a deep breath, while smiling at her slightly. They kept looking at each other for some moments, both knowing there was so much more to their words.

...

talk / ˈtȯk / verb
to express or exchange (ideas) by means of spoken words

to talk to each other