Let me love you | Merluca

4 - notice

Meredith's perspective

...

2 weeks later

...

"Hey." She saw Amelia approaching her at the nurses' station.

"Hey?" Meredith said with an underlying questioning tone because the look Amelia gave her combined with her smile told Meredith that she wanted something from her.

"I wanted to ask if I could have your resident for the week, please? The interns I have are so not competent. I can't leave them alone with a patient for 10 seconds." So, that's what she wanted...

"But then I have no resident... So, no." Meredith answered smiling.

"That's not fair. You already had him on your service for two weeks." Amelia pouted.

"Yes, because I like him. He's a good resident."

"You like him?" Amelia raised an eyebrow, suddenly even more interested.

"Oh... whatever." She shook her head, rolling her eyes at Amelia's intention and started to walk away from the nurses' station.

"No. Stop walking away. Do you know when the last time was that you said you liked an intern, or resident? Right. Never. You hate the interns."

"I don't hate them. And he is not an intern." Meredith took the tablet from the nurse that was giving it to her and then turned towards Amelia, who was still looking at her with her teasing smile "You know what, you can have him for the rest of the week if he agrees, but today I need him on this case."

"Don't try to change the subject."

"I'm not the one who changed the subject here." Meredith gave her a big triumphant smile before she disappeared into her patients room, expecting DeLuca to already be there.

But to her surprise he wasn't. Maybe he had already been there before. Meredith answered the last questions her patient had before her surgery and tried to give her some reassurance before she left the room to prepare herself and go over her scans one last time.

...

After she hasn't seen DeLuca for the rest of the morning, which was very unlike him - after all it was their surgery, or... the surgery he was supposed to assist on - she decided to ask at the nurses' station if they knew where he was.

Apparently, he went to an on-call room some time ago...

After thinking for some minutes about whether to look for him while she walked through the hospital, she decided to do so. On one side he was allowed to do whatever he wanted to do if he had some free minutes - even though it seemed very unlike him not to work or prepare himself for the upcoming surgeries - but on the other side he also couldn't just disappear like that right before an important surgery without giving notice to anyone.

Meredith tried to page him first, but he didn't answer, so she made her way to the on-call room where he was supposed to be - At least that's where the nurses saw him last.

"Dr. DeLuca?" She asked when she opened the door to look if he was inside, seeing him sitting on one of the beds in the room.

"I didn't forget about the surgery. I will be there in a minute." He answered calmly, not looking up at her.

And she believed him, it didn't seem like he had just remembered he had to work. It seemed more like he was... Preparing himself? Finding courage? Calming himself down? She couldn't really read his expression; his whole behavior if she was honest... She just noticed the deep breath he tried to take, just staring through the room not even looking in her direction.

"Are you sure you're okay? I can take another resident." Meredith tried to offer because he seemed everything but fine at least compared to how she got to know him.

"I know how to do my job, thanks, Dr. Grey." He snapped at her, seeming like he regret having said it immediately.

"And I know how to do mine." She answered firmly. But instead of leaving, she stayed as if to ask him again if he was okay. She wasn't exactly sure what it was, usually when her residents talked to her in that way, she would have put them in their place again and leave. But something about seeing Dr. DeLuca like this felt wrong. He was a good resident. Always nice towards the patients. He seemed competent in what he was doing. But right now, that was not the resident she had started to teach for the last two weeks.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Grey. I shouldn't have talked to you that way. I- I will be in the OR in a minute. I can work."

"Okay." She kept looking at him for a moment longer, not completely convinced before she decided to leave.

...

A few hours later they were able to close their patient again after a successful surgery. DeLuca was quieter than usual but besides the moment earlier he once again did a great job. He was on his way to become an amazing surgeon.

"You did a good job in there." Meredith said once they finished scrubbing out, slightly turning towards him.

"Thank you." He answered with a smile forming on his lips before he turned a bit more serious, looking up at her "And thank you for earlier."

She gave him a small smile with a slight nod before she left the room.

...

notice / ˈnō-təs / verb
to become aware of something (or someone)

to notice someone's behaviour

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