Let me love you | Merluca

3 - learn

Andrew's perspective

...

Once Andrew finished his shift, he quickly changed to get home to see Theo again. He really needed to learn to be away from him for a few hours. But it wasn't that easy after everything that had happened; after spending the last few months with him the whole day.

He went inside his apartment when he saw Carina in the kitchen cooking something. He didn't expect her to still be here. As far as he knew she had to go to work, too.

"You stayed here the whole day?" Andrew asked surprised to see her still being here.

"Shh. Theo is sleeping." She answered bringing her finger to her mouth and then pointing in Theo's direction, who was lying on his blanket in the corner of the room with his baby toys.

He made his way over to Theo to greet him – or to see him – since he was asleep. But he couldn't help himself, he needed this for himself. Once he made sure that Theo was okay and gave him a small kiss he got up again and joined Carina and Anna in the kitchen. He went over to Anna greeting her and thanking her for staying with Theo, before saying goodbye and letting her go home.

Once she left he turned towards Carina again, still curious why she was still here.

"So, you stayed the whole day?" He asked again, talking quietly so he wouldn't wake up Theo.

"Yes."

"And..." Andrew tried to get a bit more of an answer from her.

"And nothing. I just wanted to stay." She turned towards the pods in front of her again, trying not to let the food get burned.

"Okay, just to get it right... You're allowed to take the day off, but I'm not." He laughed, shaking his head disbelievingly before he went over to Theo again, this time taking him in his arms. He went up and took him with him and then sat down on the sofa, while Theo was sleeping in his arms.

"You know fully well that there is a big difference. You haven't worked for seven months. And today was your first day. And..." She turned a bit more understanding. "I know it's hard for you, but at some point, you need to start living again. And going back to work is one part and-"

"You can stop." He turned towards her more serious than before, trying to keep his voice low. He already knew where this was going and he didn't like it.

"I just want to say that you deserve to be happy."

"I am happy. I have Theo and I have you. I don't need more." Andrew answered a little quieter again, not wanting to wake Theo, while looking at him, already feeling a smile forming on his lips at the sight. Just looking at him already made him happier than he thought he could ever be one day again.

"Maybe you don't need more, but you deserve more and you are not the type to be alone for the rest of your life."

"What is that supposed to mean?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"You care and you have always been someone who wanted to love, who wanted to give that love to someone else." Carina answered more softly this time, stopping what she was doing to look at him.

"I have Theo now." He looked at Theo sleeping in his arms and then at Carina again.

"You know that one doesn't exclude the other, right?" She tilted her head slightly, already telling him that she was right and he knew that she was right... But life wasn't that easy.

"Maybe, but I don't want to hurt any more people."

"Andrea."

"Carina, please." He looked at her, almost pleading to let it go.

"Fine." She sighed, looking at him for another moment, observing him before she changed the subject "How was your first day?"

And for once in over a year he was glad to talk about work again. And that probably was a bigger step forward than he realized until now.

"It was good, I think." He felt how a small smile formed on his face before he added "Dr. Grey at least didn't seem like she wanted to kill me anymore at the end of the day." He chuckled slightly.

"What did you do? Why did she want to kill you?" Carina now looked at her brother with an amused and slightly teasing smile.

"I was too late." Andrew looked up at her with a smile on his face already knowing what she would say next.

"I told you." Now his sister laughed at him. But she was allowed to, because... She was right and she was his sister.

"I know. I know. But... I enjoyed working today. It was good to be... back at work."

"I haven't seen you like this in a long time."

"Thank you, Carina." He gave her a sincere smile, because without her he wouldn't be where he was today. And he knew he probably still had a lot more to learn, but with Carina and Theo... maybe he could really find a way to look forward.

...

learn / ˈlərn /verb
to come to be able

to learn to look forward again

_______________

💕💕