I'm Tired || Daisuga

- Training camp

No trigger warning what the heckity heck????? also sad but good news, this is the second last chapter guys, its been incredible and even tough I've dontemplated a few ideas for my next series, I think its either going to be a Sakuatsu Restaurant Au or an Iwaoi Superhero Au, I really wanna write a fun Au if you couldnt tell! anyways enjoyyyyyyy!

Daichi pov

It'd been about a week and a half since everything happened and things were starting to feel a little bit more normal. Suga had settled back into school and, with his panic attacks becoming more sparse as well as manageable, he insisted on joining us at the weekend training camp in Tokyo. He claimed that he could cheer, even if he didn't play, since the doctors had instructed him to stay away from physical activity for a week. Technically he could play, and he'd started actually practising with us instead of just watching or helping out Kiyoko and Yachi, but he said he wasn't sure if being in a game would be good for him at the moment; something he discussed with the psychiatrist he was now seeing on a weekly basis (Suga has had two meetings with her as of now).

But my hopes were high as we settled into our seats on the bus, groggy from lack of sleep since we had to wake up early for departure. Koushi poked my shoulder drowsily, a small yawn escaping his lips. I turned to face him, ruffling his hair for no particular reason before being momentarily shocked by the boyish smile he wore, shining unabashedly. I wanted nothing more than to embrace him and hide his preciousness away, selfishly keeping him to myself. But I remembered all the effort it'd taken for me to keep things platonic in the last week, it was exhausting but with the expression he showed me right there, I knew no amount of time could falter my patience, as long as he was getting better, that's what mattered most.

"Yes Suga?" I raised one eyebrow, eyeing him with a small smile. He frowned playfully and shook his head. "What?" I questioned, confused by his tired antics.

"Not my name..." he mumbled into my shoulder, trying to hide his ever-growing smile and blush.

"Koushi, then?" I offered, seeing the tips of his ears glowing pink.

"Still wrong.." he said through another yawn, finally lifting his chin to set it on my shoulder, no longer trying to suppress his smile.

I should have been more aware of the space between us-well more like lack of space, since our noses nearly touched. But between my heavy eyelids and his charms, I didn't think too hard about it, just internally thanking the cover of early morning pre-sunrise and the fact that mostly everyone else had fallen asleep minutes after we began driving.

"Sugar?" my last guess brought a smile to both of us as he nodded approvingly, "Didn't know you liked it that much." I mused, absentmindedly bringing a hand up to comb through his messy silver locks, gently tugging to unknot it.

"I like it cause it's from you.." he whispered almost shyly, pausing slightly before meeting my eyes again, "thank you, everything you've done for me Daichi, really it... it feels like you changed my whole life for the better." he said with such sincerity my heart almost hurt.

The last time he said words like that to me, he was saying them as a 'goodbye', this time it felt different, he was saying it as reassurance, telling me he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon and God, I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around him if not for the confined seating arrangement we found ourselves.

I felt those three little words rolling around on my tongue, so ready to come out I might as well have shouted them. But I bit my tongue and settled for pulling his head down to lie on my shoulder, pressing my lips to the crown of his head for a long moment, inhaling his cedar leaf, cardamom scent. A couple minutes passed and I realised Suga fell asleep, his breath having evened out slowly and the rest of his body weight slumping against my side. I smiled, turning back towards the window to watch passing buildings and houses fly by until sleep pulled me under as well.

Suga's pov

I held up the small white planchette, decorated by a large number nine in bold black font. The second set of our practice match against Fukurodani was tied at 19-19, but when coach Ukai had made eye contact with me, as if asking whether or not I wanted to be put in and, with my fingers itching to get in on the game and I couldn't refuse. My nerves rose at a steady pace as I handed off the 'subbing' sign to Kageyama, but with a high five from Noya and a reassuring glance from the captain himself, I felt better. One deep breath later, I positioned myself between Tanaka and Tsukishima in the front row. It hadn't been that long since I played, so I fell into the groove quickly as Asahi served. Their libero picked it up and as the ravenette setter came up to set the ball, I recognised the slight flick of his wrist, a dead giveaway that he was about to do a setter dump. For a split second, I doubted myself, if you commit to the dump, you won't be able to get up in time to block if you're wrong. My inner voice chided, it had become less harsh recently, though the passive aggressiveness from my fathers verbal berating still shined.

'You have to push yourself to ignore the voice, even if the outcome is bad. Small victories lead to feeling in control.' the psychiatrist had told me those exact words and they were all I could think of in that split second.

I crouched down, sliding on one knee pad behind our blonde middle blocker. Bringing my arms forward, I moved just in time to pass the ball before it could land.

I was right.

"It's up!" I shouted.

"Nice cover Suga-san!!" our multicolour-haired libero exclaimed as I saw that all of our defensive players were too focused on the Fukurodani Ace and wouldn't have gotten to the ball in time if I hadn't been there.

"Setter's out! Cover it!" Asahi yelled breathily.

"LEFT SIDE!" an obnoxiously loud boisterous voice came from across the court.

"Tanaka!" Daichi called out to the wing spiker in question.

And with that the point was ours.

We lost the set in the end, 24-26, but my mind and heart were still racing with adrenaline. I was so happy to have gotten a small victory like my therapist said. After grabbing some water, I looked for Daichi, wanting to tell him about my good mood, but when I found him, my heart sank.

He was talking to one of the Fukurodani managers, Suzumeda Kaori, and even though it seemed innocent at first, I couldn't help but notice the pink blush across her cheeks as she spoke to him with admiration in her eyes. It didn't help that I could hear fragments of their conversation.

"...-thinking that you and I should have lunch together..." She flirtatiously grabbed his upper arm.

"...-two of us....-alone?" The broken up parts of Daichi's speech reached me.

"-get to know each other..." Suzumeda giggled coquettishly, looking him up and down.

I made my way out of the gym bittersweetly, claiming I needed to refill my water bottle, when in reality, I just wanted to get away from the scene I'd just witnessed. I had no claim over Daichi and overall wanted him to be happy and find someone, it just made me sad because I wanted to be the one to make him happy. I knew he would eventually find a pretty girl, but after spending so much time with him and also that dream that felt all too real, I must've been getting my hopes up to think I might've had a chance. I tried not to cry as I stood next to the water fountain, practising the breathing exercises I'd recently learned and ignoring any intrusive thoughts.

I can do this. I thought to myself and it soon became a chant of positivity. I can do it, ignore the thoughts Koushi, I got this. Breathe in and out, I can do this, I can-

"There you are. I've been looking all over this damn campus." a cold menacing voice greeted me from behind, sending familiar shivers of terror down my spine. "Nice to see you, son." my father joked.

I'm so sorry for the cliffhanger, Ill get the last chapter out ASAP