I'm Tired || Daisuga

- Guilty and hopeful

WARNING: Contains thoughts of suicide and other triggering things, if you are easily triggered, please click away. (This notion will be above every chapter)

Daichi's POV

The doctor's words replayed in my mind as I sat there, pale and shaky.

"We've put him in a clinically induced coma in attempts to prevent him from having a heart attack, but the next few hours are vital because he may still go into cardiac arrest. If all goes well he should have a full recovery with only minor issues."

The boy I loved now sat in a room down the hall, unconscious and capable of dying anytime. I wanted to go to him but my legs wouldn't let me, so I waited for everyone else to visit first...

Coach Ukai Pov

Takeda and I were the first to enter the vice captains room, both with heavy hearts, still processing everything. He was lying on the hospital bed, looking dreadful, with sunken eyes and cheekbones too defined, I could tell he'd lost a lot of weight from vomiting. I couldn't help the feeling of guilt that ran through my body, no matter how much Takeda told me it wasn't my fault.

"Sugawara... I'm so... so sorry." I said, unsure if the boy could hear me in his comatose state, "I should have seen some sort of sign! I should have made sure everyone was doing well! It was my job and I failed. I'm sorry for letting you down son." I took a deep breath, sitting in the visitor chair next to his bed. "Everyone is out there, they're all here to see you, and they'll be really happy when you wake up." Takeda's hand found its way to my shoulder.

"Were all excited to talk to you again, and apologise for not being able to support you as much as you support us all!" He said and I heard a waver in his voice; he was crying.

I moved my hand to cup his on my shoulder, trying to comfort him. We talked to the sleeping boy for a little while longer, and stayed in the room as everyone else slowly filed in, each saying something different, but equally respectful to Sugawara-Kun. First was Nishinoya and Tanaka who came in, both got teary eyes when they saw him. They thanked him for always being there and dealing with their shenanigans and Noya mentioned something about being the best Mom he could ask for, which earned a confused look from both me and Sensei. They said that when everything got better, they would tone it down to stop stressing the silver haired boy out. Once they left, Ennoshita, Kinoshita and Narita came in, they were all telling him about what a good role model he'd been for the first years and even them themselves during the year prior. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi came next, not a lot of words were spoken but Tsukishima tried to show how grateful he was for the small nudges Sugawara gave him that made him feel more a part of the team. Meanwhile Yamaguchi just cried, letting out a few incoherent words then leaving the room again, with the blond, in attempts to calm down. Hinata and Kageyama told him that he was the most comforting person they knew, they felt he was always there for them to talk to and he was a very good listener, also offering the best advice. Asahi just came in and told the unconscious boy about the homework he missed, saying that when he gets better he could give him the answers and missing notes from the day, how optimistic he was, even though tears fell silently from his eyes.

"Coach, I think you should go talk to Daichi. He's a wreck." Asahi mumbled bitter sweetly, before stepping out of the room.

"I was wondering where he was.." I thought out loud.

"I'll gather everyone together and get them to call their parents, it's getting late, you talk to the poor boy, and then have a word with Koushi's father. I don't think he's a good man." Takeda said sensitively.

"Yeah, sure, I need a smoke too." I grabbed his hand that was still on my shoulder and kissed it, "Meet you in the car?"

He nodded and we stood, heading pour separate ways as I walked back to the waiting room, seeing the boys father in one corner of the room, pacing around angrily while on the phone, and Sawamura, sitting in the same position as earlier, head in hands and shoulders slumped.

"Hey, kid," I said, making him look up with red rimmed eyes, "c'mon, let's have a chat." He nodded and began to follow as I, unknowingly to him, led us to Sugawara's room. "Look, we're all in a bad place right now, and I don't want to make you feel like you have to act all tough and be strong for everyone. You probably have it the worst since you two are close, so I want you to let it out ok? Don't bottle it up and feel some sort of need to be the shoulder for everyone else to cry on, I let Sugawara be that shoulder and look where that got us." Harsh, but it was warranted. I felt guilty knowing I made the boy feel some sense of responsibility where he had to be a support system for everyone else while he himself didn't have one. I promised myself I'd make it right, and that started here.

"It feels like this was my fault." He mumbled, honestly, "If I'd been a better friend, if I'd asked him why he looked so sad when I asked if he was okay, or why he had bruises or why he wouldn't let me go to his house, or why he pushed me away all of a sudden, or—" he was rambling and about to cry again, but this time out of frustration.

But I was busy stuck on something he'd said...

Bruises?

"Son, do you know where his bruises came from?" I asked, not wanting to sugar coat it.

"Not a hundred percent sure but it's pretty obvious." He nodded his head backwards towards the waiting room, laughing bitterly, "Asahi should've let me punch him." He grumbled, which brought me back a little before my anger took control.

"Hey now, you aren't punching anyone," I said sternly before adding "I on the other hand, have no one stopping me." This made us both laugh a little, since the two of us knew I wasn't joking. "But for now, you've got to go be with your boyfriend there." As I opened the door to the hospital room, he blushed, making me smirk, "I'm more observant than you think captain, you don't just stare at someone's ass for a solid minute for nothing." I tried to lighten up his mood before he went to see Sugawara, and I think it worked as he chuckled bashfully.

"Thanks for that one, Coach!" He said.

"Anytime Kiddo, now it's time to beat up some old dude. Do me a favour and have your parents take Sugawara in for a while when he gets out of this drab place? It'll be good for the both of ya's." I told him, not awaiting a response as I stepped away and back towards the waiting room.

The man stood about four inches taller than me, but that made no difference in my mind. I stormed up to him, each step helped me regain my anger from hearing about Sugawara's bruises, it was obvious the man abused his son, but I wanted to know why.

"Where are his bruises from?" I demanded, glaring up at his unamused eyes.

"Excuse me?" he raised one eyebrow, too calmly.

"Drop the act asshole, do you hit your son?" I said bluntly, and confirmed it when a hint of fear showed through his eyes.

"I fail to see how that has anything to do with you, it's none of your business." he acted offended by the accusation.

"You are a shitty dad." I swung my fist forward, it connected with his chin and he stumbled back.

Before he could get in another word, I'd left, knowing he wouldn't chase me, because causing a scene meant I'd have to explain why I hit him. As I exited the hospital, Takeda was waiting next to the volleyball van we'd piled into to get here from school. He nodded approvingly at the split in my knuckle, which made me laugh.

"Not gonna scold me for being a bad influence on the kids?" I questioned, smirking.

"He deserved it." was his response as he placed a gentle kiss on my lips.