Deer Diary || Jily

Year 4 IV

The flavor was strange at first. James definitely did not know the measurements of his recipe and threw everything together all haphazardly, but the taste was still there. It was...

"Treacle tart," James said, running a hand through his hair restlessly. "Your—"

"My favorite." Lily could feel the sticky taste of the dessert on her lips. As she licked the bottom of her lips nervously, James couldn't help follow the movement and watch as her tongue flicked the golden brew. "With a hint of ginger."

"Just the way you like it." James averted his gaze and tried not to think of her lips... or kissing... or kissing her lips.

Lily put the spoon down next to the pot and leaned her palms on the edge of the counter as she leaned back and forth. He remembered.

The two of them stood there in awkward silence.

James was the first to break the lull. "What you said when I asked why you didn't want to talk about our kiss last year." He shuffled his feet, trying to look anywhere but at Lily. "I don't see you as a plaything, Lily. I don't see you as a prize at the end of a game. I swear, I'm not playing a game with you."

Lily looked at him hesitantly, her fingers pulling and adjusting at her clothes, just so she had something to do. "James..."

"When I ask you out— every time I ask you out, I mean it. I mean it with my whole heart and it hurts... it breaks my heart every time you say no and I genuinely like you, Evans. Sometimes..." James softly laughed to himself. "Most times, I'm sure I love you."

"You don't, Potter."

James head snapped up to lock in with hers.

She shook her head. "You don't love me. We're just kids. We're not supposed to know what love is."

"We are kids and maybe we don't understand love fully, but with whatever I do understand, I know I completely love you, Lily Evans."

"You love how I look and you think I'm attractive to you and-and-and when you— ehm, if you ever date me, you'll get bored of me and leave me and find the next girl who wouldn't fall for the charm of the great Marauder, James Potter. You like that I'm hard to get."

"I do love how you look, Evans," James agreed.

Heart beating faster, she looked at him calculatingly and crossed her hands over her chest. James, however, was not finished. "But I also love your passion. I love how you care for other people. I love how you aren't afraid to stand up for what you believe in. I love how you dot your 'I's'. I love how you crinkle your nose when you're confused. I love how you always find time to sit under a tree and read. I love how you love."

Lily was struck speechless.

"So yes, Lily Evans," James announced. "You are a beautiful sight to behold and you sure as hell are hard to get, but it's not just a game to me. And I know eventually you'll see that. But until then, I just have to do whatever I can to win you over. And I will."

Lily opened her mouth to say something. To say anything. But she couldn't find the words. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know how it was possible for a fourteen year old boy to be so open about his feelings. She definitely did not feel as strongly as James did about her. She doubted she felt this strong about anything in her life ever.

James loved.

He loved strongly. He loved powerfully.

Lily wished she could do the same.

Before she could say anything, to both their surprises, the oven next to them suddenly burst into flames.

James and Lily jumped back in shock, watching as the flames grew higher and higher.