Deer Diary || Jily

Year 5 XI

The two of them gazed out of the window, awestruck by the bright, full moon. Lily tried not to let her mind wander off to thoughts of her boys and if they were okay. They would be fine without her, Lily assured herself. If they truly got hurt, then they would see Madame Pomfrey and everything would be okay.

Unless, they were stupid enough to brush off their injuries.

Oh Merlin, they were stupid enough to brush off their—

"I think I've made a mistake."

Lily was startled to hear those words come out of the young boy's mouth as Regulus continued to stare straight ahead.

"Everyone makes mistakes," Lily said comfortingly, "but it's never too late to try and mend things. You're still young, Regulus."

"Not young enough apparently," Regulus whispered, rubbing painfully at his left sleeve.

"Is it your family?" Lily asked softly. "You don't have to tell me, but maybe you can talk to your brother? If anyone would understand, it would be Sirius."

"I can't," Regulus said. He wiped at his eyes and sniffled. "He wouldn't understand. He already hates me and he didn't even come home this summer. I haven't even talked to him once this year and he's already replaced me and- and he wouldn't understand."

Lily was quiet, allowing the boy to vent and release his pent up emotions.

Once Regulus had gone completely silent aside from the occasional sniffles, Lily said, "I don't have the best relationship with my sibling either. She always insults me and avoids me and," Lily laughed bitterly, "she tells me that she hates me. But I know that if something were to happen, she would have my back. Because despite everything, we're family."

"Sirius left his family." Regulus scowled bitterly. "He has a new one now."

"And yet," Lily said softly, "he still cares for you. He still wants to make sure you're okay and he even asked me to ask Severus to keep an eye on you."

"He..." Regulus blinked owlishly, turning his head to finally face Lily. "He did?"

She nodded. "You're his little brother and you mean a lot more to him than you think. I know he probably doesn't it show it, but he cares for you. If you're in trouble, just talk to him."

The young Slytherin slowly nodded, processing all of her words. "Thank you..."

"Lily. You can call me Lily."

"Thank you, Lily."

"Not bad advice for a lowly cockroach, huh?" she asked jokingly.

Regulus blushed and rubbed the back of his neck in a way that reminded Lily of Sirius. "I'm sorry I called you that."

"Trust me, I've been called worse things by people in this school," Lily said darkly.

"I don't... I don't believe in those things," Regulus said, almost like a whisper, as if he was embarrassed to admit it. "I don't think it matters what your blood status is or... or anything. It just doesn't make sense."

"Yeah?" Lily asked, a small smile on her face.

"Yeah," Regulus said, a bit more encouraged now, the words he had kept hidden inside of him finally coming out. "There are plenty of powerful witches and wizards who are half-bloods and- and- even..." Regulus nodded at her. "You know."

"Muggleborn?"

"Right. And there are purebloods who are downright stupid. Trust me, I'm in a dorm with a bunch of them."

Lily giggled at that and Regulus looked startled at the sound, the tips of his ears turning a rosy pink and a hint of a smile playing at the edge of his lips. "I've never said those things out-loud," Regulus admitted. "I'm pretty sure I'd be ostracized if they ever heard me say it."

"Your perfectly normal and decent thoughts about the human condition are safe with me, Regulus. I promise I won't say anything to anyone about how you believe that wizards and witches shouldn't be discriminated based on blood status because that is just such an embarrassing belief to have."

This time, Regulus really did laugh and even though it was a low chuckle, it still made Lily proud to have cheered up the once downtrodden boy.

The sun had had started to rise slowly in the sky and Lily leaned to the side a little and nudged him with her shoulder, getting him to look at the soft beams on the horizon. "Your secret's safe with me, Regulus."