Baddest || MGK

KISS KISS

MARILYN

I never really got to experience pregnancy, the first one was more painful of an experience than not. I struggled mentally and physically before, but now I'm financially stable and in a better mindset.

Colson was true to his word, he's taken care of me so well so far. He takes care of all of his business, but still talks to me everyday, whether it be a regular phone call or a facetime. I've never seen this side of him before, he's an angel.

He's definitely gotten more protective now, it's sweet. I'm seeing this as a blessing in disguise. I get a little bean and Colson and I are slowing coming together as a team. Even if we aren't in a serious relationship right now, for the first time in years I could imagine it.

He insisted that I come to L.A. to be closer to him and the boys, in case anything happened, I agreed. I shipped most of my stuff from Cleveland to my temporary LA home. I realized that there was nothing in the Land for me anyways. Cleveland was never really my home. I mean, I loved it when I was there, but that was because Colson was there too.
Now that he's gone I've noticed that there's nothing there for me. My mom and her shitty family sucks, I didn't graduate from there, Jonathan moved, I have no other family there, no ties, I'm free.

Sometimes it's better to let go and leave.

I actually wouldn't mind moving in with the boys, I miss them everyday, but more than anything I gotta think about bean. I can't have them around that house, it's unsafe. I wouldn't mind waking up to Colson every morning, once we sort everything out I truly believe we could conquer everything. I give it a year and he'll finally secure his spot at the top and have his best mental health yet.

I love him with all my heart, maybe it is the hormones talking, but I'm happy for once and I don't care if it's all manufactured because of the baby growing inside of me.

We're having a date night tonight, the first on since we've been married, maybe even the first official one ever. It's too late for an annulment and I keep pushing back getting the divorce papers, he said he's ready to sign whenever, and has apologized profusely. He told me that he wasn't thinking right and should've never took it that far. At first I was so mad I couldn't even look at him, but when he apologized, like really apologized, I couldn't help to but to accept it, marriage is just two names on a paper, right?

Before I had to get up and get ready for our date I did some things around the house, I still wasn't sure if I wanted to keep this house and make it my permanent residence yet. It's only 25 minutes away from Colsons, and the neighborhood is nice, but something just feels off.

Maybe it's because it's bigger than the one in Cleveland and I'm all alone in it, whatever it may be, I still like it.

After finishing my self-assigned task around the house it was time for me to get up and get ready for my date.

After a couple short minutes of sorting through my clothes I settled on a simple black sundress, it was cute. I don't remember where I got it, but it was nice. It's plain black and sleeveless, it hugs my breast and it flows afterward. I looked in mirror and smiled, I had a medium sized bump that couldn't be seen in this dress unless I hugged it close to my stomach. Despite really wanting to do a full face of make up I settled on a tinted moisturizer, mascara and lip gloss.

I looked at the time on the clock and realized it was almost time to go. I had really taken my time getting dressed and only had 25 minutes to get where I needed to be. I sat on the bench near the door and slipped on a pair of black suede, wide fit heeled sandals. They're the only heels comfortable enough to wear at this stage.