Shifting Boundaries | RyujinxYeji

Chapter 52

Seulgi's POV

After my prayer, I put the flowers beneath her gravestone.

I'm glad that you became one of the biggest part in my life. Too sad...you died waiting for my forgiveness.

I've forgiven you, Irene. Now, it's my turn to endlessly wait for your forgiveness that you won't be able to give at all.

"Why am I too stupid to run away instead of fixing things, Seulgi? All those years, I've only thought of love. Her—loving me, that she would never love me, what if she would love me...I didn't think of knowing her more, I was a fool, right?" Suho stated who's at my back. I remained standing in front of Irene's gravestone with my head down as I listen to him.

"She was the most elegant girl in my sight before and she will always be. I loved her as the intimidating Irene, not even thinking what's behind those? What's behind her eyes? What's behind her rare smiles? I know now why Irene wasn't able to move on from her past until her last breath—because I never did anything for her. I was just there as a self-proclaimed man who 'loves' her, but was never a man she can lean on. I never ever made her feel the comfort that she should've feel. So when she finally wanted to move on, she couldn't, she felt as if she was stuck on you—but no, it was my fault. I only hoped for her love...I didn't try to get to know her.." I turned my body to his direction and saw the guy that I envied for years thinking he was chosen over me, "Up until now, after all those years I've been with her. I can't still say that I know her. I didn't even try knowing who Irene was. I feel like I just loved and married someone in my imagination. I'm stupid, I was so stupid. I told her she was selfish when in fact I'm this fool who only wanted her to love me in return." a single tear fell from his right eye. If Irene didn't grow up hating on men, I'm sure she would love this very fine man in front of me. She wouldn't choose Suho to get her pregnant if Suho won't stand a chance in her life.

He was right...maybe if he dug deeper onto her feelings, just maybe...maybe she was able to let go of her past just like me.

Unlike Suho, Jaebeom did everything—to impressing me with his efforts and spoiling me with his love up to knowing all my emotions and embracing my past, without the thought of being loved back. Jaebeom...he knew all along that I wasn't in love even after having our twins but he kept his words that he will be with me for the rest of our lives to keep my life better.

"I used to envy you from afar...thinking, why does she need to fall for the same gender?" Suho looks at me while we're tracing our way out, "Then as I stare at you, the questions in my mind faded but the insecurity started. I was afraid what if Irene comes back in your arms, what if you'd take Ryujin? I was afraid because you raised that baby, you...you watered her with all of your love while Irene was bearing her. I thought, what's my role right here? Where should I place myself? I felt lost not until Ryujin called me daddy and when she hushed because of me, when she stumbled a lot of times tryna' get to my direction when she was turning 2..."

"How was she growing up?" I asked. I remember planning our future in my head back then...me, watching Ryujin growing up with Irene spending the rest of her life with me.

Suho and I stopped behind the bushes and stares at each other in serious manner, "Ryujin was a sick kiddo, y'know that I guess? She was almost one year old when we adopted her but her body was fragile and she was tiny, her hair and teeth didn't develop that fast that's why it was easy for Irene to faked everything, including her age. When Jisu was born, she was even a lot healthier. For years, we often spent our time in hospital for Ryujin. When Jisu reached her first birthday, she was way tougher than Ryujin who's already two year old. Ryujin's condition became better when she was five years old. Irene was so protective, I thought she doesn't like Ryujin—but looking back at the memories, I can finally say that she was a good mom trying to be as hard as rock for Ryujin." smile plastered on his face while thinking of those memories he had with them.