I Love You But Is It Too Late?

2. Rejection

Kang Chin-hae POV:

"What are you doing here?" was the first thing I heard although the voice was coming from afar.

"Chin-hae?" my mom tried again, but I was too busy with gasping, so I couldn't answer.

Thank God, she was better at being a doctor than a mother. She grabbed my arms and directed me to the kitchen before helping me to a chair. Then she brought me a glass of water while my father came with the first-aid kit.

I drank the water as my father patted my back and soon I calmed down. I hated to give a reaction like that each time something broke into pieces, but I couldn't help. Thanks to the never-ending and violent fighting of my parents, I was traumatized from an early age.

"You almost had a panic attack," my father said as he pulled up a chair in front of me, "what was that for?" he asked as he sat down.

So, he knew it was almost a panic attack as he was a doctor as well, but he didn't know the reason as a father. Ironic, isn't it?

"Because of you two," I said honestly for the first time, "your fighting gives me anxiety."

"See? It is all because of you," my mother accused my father, folding her arms on her chest.

My father just sighed," yeah sure, because it is 'me' who smashes everything randomly."

"IT IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU THAT I-"

"Enough!" I jumped on my feet, "please, it is enough. Just let me stay in peace until the mid-term break is over," I begged them.

My parents looked at me in awe, then exchanged a glance.

"Just fifteen days, then you can continue with your fighting," I pressed again. If the dormitory let us stay during the breaks, I would never come back home. Being at home was making me anxious as my parents were worse than enemies.

"Well, I would love to grant it but-" my mother started wryly, but my father cut her off.

"Stop it already!" he yelled at her, "can't you see he is not in a good condition?"

"What is it?" I asked with a small voice. What else was there?

"Nothing," my father pushed me back to the chair, "it can wait, now let's treat this cut so it won't leave a scar."

"Pathetic," my mother mumbled and left the kitchen to my relief.

After my father patched me up, he went back to the hospital for his night shift while my mother was drinking in the living room, not minding the glass shards which were literally everywhere.

As I didn't want to talk to her, l directly went up to my room and got under the duvet. It was only four pm but I was drained and injured already.

My mind kept going to the words of my mother and I wondered what was the problem this time. Would I ever receive a happy welcome and a plate of hot meal? Probably not.

Although I tried to hold them in, the tears didn't listen to me and trickled down from my face to the pillow. I lay there like a dead body until my phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out and saw it was a message from Han-jae.

[Are you home?]

I kept looking at the message alienly. Was I home? Had I ever had a home?

How could I reply to the message when I didn't know the answer? I bit my lower lip as I tried to suppress a sob and left the message unanswered.

Lee Han-jae POV:

Chin-hae read my message, but he didn't reply.

My heart missed a beat when I saw the irritating two blue ticks, meaning he saw the message. I waited all day long but he didn't answer. The same guy who even replied 'ok' messages didn't reply to my question.

Indeed, I panicked, but I wouldn't give up that easily as persistence was my middle name. I grabbed my phone again the very next day and wrote another message.

[Is everything okay?]

Then another one.

[Why don't you answer?]

Then another one.

[Is it because I kissed you? But you kissed me back...]

Then another one.

[Can we talk? I am getting panicked :(]

Then another one.

[Seriously, Chin-hae?]

Then another one.

[I really like you but if you don't like me, at least tell me.]

No reply.

Ten days and no reply.

Now, I was sure that he didn't want to do anything with me, and because of my greed, I lost my best friend. I also resented him as he didn't even see me worthy for a proper rejection.

As my heart was broken into million pieces, I wasn't eager to do anything. All day long, I sat in front of my window, watching people as they walked back and forth. As a result, my parents were worried and one of them always stayed at home to be sure I wouldn't hurt myself as if I would do such a thing.

Still, I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt. Chin-hae was my first sweetheart and losing him like that broke me. I was angry, disappointed, sad and offended at the same time and there was no remedy.

Four more days passed and I sent a final message.

[I am sorry.]