falling for her crush || billie eilish

two.

I hate having to leave my dog behind every time I go somewhere. I'd take him with me to everywhere if I could. Ever since dad died I've felt incredibly lonely. Of course Nora was there, but she wasn't always. Not when I was in bed, all alone, listening to sad music while imagining dad was still with me. But ever since I have Jimmy I feel better. Like a small piece of me that dad took with him when he left came back.

"Come here you little baby", I say while kneeling down to his height. He runs toward me and licks my face, his front legs resting on my shoulders. I will never understand how people can hate dogs. They're the most precious creatures on this earth who understand us and will always listen. People often forget the difference between the perspective of a dog and our perspective. They are closer to the ground. When we yell at a dog for jumping at us, we're failing to understand that they're simply trying to reach our level and trying to make eye contact with us.

It's 8:30, which means that the party will start in half an hour. Like I said before, I'm not a party animal. I don't like big crowds and being around drunk people. That's why I also never put any effort in my outfit. Nora, on the other hand, puts too much effort into that. If you think about it, Nora and I are totally different. While I hate dresses and make up, she'd rather wear them all day long. While I love action movies, she'd rather watch romcoms. While I love black and grey, she loves bright colors, and so on. But, I think that's what's beautiful about our friendship. Despite the many differences we still fit together perfectly. Like coldness and hotness. They're two totally different things, but they need each other. Coldness can't be here without hotness, and hotness can't be there without coldness, you know?

I grab my jacket and put it on quickly. I say my last goodbye to Jimmy and leave my apartment, going straight to my car. Dad got me a car for my sixteenth birthday, which I still can't believe. I remember immediately going to my mom to show her. I was so excited but all she had to say was 'your dad is crazy' and 'you don't even have your driver's license yet'.

-

I get out of my car and walk inside Tyler's house. I'm immediately overwhelmed by loud music and the smell of weed and alcohol. I push myself through the crowd of people, going to the place where Nora and I said we'd meet. The party had just started, but it already seems like everyone around me is drunk. People push theirselves against me, dancing to the loud music. I already regret this.

"Hey, Meg!", I hear after I had waited in the kitchen for ten minutes. Nora's wearing a black dress. She curled her hair and it falls perfectly over her shoulders.

"Yo, where the fuck were you?"

"Sorry, I was talking to", she points her finger at the black haired girl she's in love with.

"Ahh, I see."

"I want you to meet her."

"What?" The reason I never met Billie is because Nora wouldn't let me. I don't know why. Maybe she was embarrassed of me? Or maybe she was scared that I wouldn't like her? I don't know. Whatever it is, I'm sure she's got a good reason for it.

"Yeah. I know I wouldn't let you before, but... I think I'm ready now."

"You're ready?", I ask sarcastically.

"Shut up." She laughs. "The reason I didn't want you to meet her before is because.. it's just... I like her, a lot. And I just wanted to get to know her better before introducing her to my favorite person."