Time || YeonGyu AU✔

chapter 19

          Yeonjun woke up early in the morning, immediately greeted by the soothing chirping of birds which sat carelessly on the window sill, a chilly breeze ruffling their feathers and spreading over the boy's face. The blazing sky was shooting torrents of its blinding light into the hotel room and beaming across the smooth surfaces of different items. A couple of rays came into contact with Yeonjun's eyes and glowed in his newly awoken orbs as they reflected the illumination perfectly and twinkled like little stars in the night. His mind was feeling lighter than usual and seemed like his fever had gone too since he was no longer burning from high temperature, but still, there was some weakness floating in his bones which Yeonjun hoped would go away soon.

          He groaned and slowly got on his feet, making his way to the bathroom to take a quick shower and get ready for visiting Beomgyu in the hospital. He wanted to see the boy so bad and thank him for doing something so great for him, but he had no idea how he would be able to face him and look into his eyes. He was feeling shame even though he didn't want to admit it, and he knew he would have to give up a little amount of some of his principles because he wasn't going to treat the younger boy harshly or coldly, he had to face bitter consequences when he last hurt him like that and he didn't want to experience it once more, there was still some humanity left in him, or no, the boy was filled with a bunch of emotions and sympathy, it was just that he always refused to expose them because he didn't want to seem vulnerable to others.

          The hospital was full of people when he got there and he headed straight toward Beomgyu's doctor's cabinet after asking for him in the reception. To his luck, the doctor was free and informed the younger boy about Beomgyu's condition, fortunately, there was nothing to worry about and she even said that he would be discharged in a couple of weeks. For now, Beomgyu was awake in his ward and Yeonjun was allowed to see him which excited the boy for some reason but set heaviness in his chest at the same time because he had to say no to his pride and identity, it wasn't an easy thing for him to do.

          He stood at the door of the ward, his hand tightly wrapped around the knob but he had no courage to push it down. Not only seconds, but even minutes passed as he stood there like that, trying to fight off harassing hesitation which was making him want just to run away and never come back. He had never felt this much shame before and he hated dealing with it, he just wanted to escape, but the only way out was to talk to the male.

          Yeonjun heaved a deep breath and quickly twisted the knob, no longer thinking since he knew otherwise he would end up staying behind the door. Beomgyu's head jerked at him when he heard the cracking sound and he had no idea what to feel when he saw the yellow-haired boy walking inside with a stressed expression. He remembered very well that he was dreaming of him last night, but he couldn't recall many details since his memories seemed too blurry. However, alone the fact that he saw the older when he was asleep was enough to send tingles of embarrassment into his body, causing his cheeks to heat up uncomfortably, but he decided not to bring it to light.

          "Hey", Yeonjun called in a husky voice after clearing his throat and he slowly marched towards the bed with stiffened muscles which felt like they were going to break down under his weight, "How are you feeling?"

          "Why are you here?", Beomgyu asked directly, his eyes looking anywhere but the male who had already arrived at his bed and was fiddling with his fingers, trying to find proper words while placing himself on the chair uncomfortably.

          Yeonjun hated everything about him and Beomgyu had no idea why he was there, was it because he had saved his life? Then it wasn't necessary because Beomgyu would do it for anyone in that situation, he didn't save Yeonjun, he just saved a person, and deep down he was upset with him, he just couldn't get rid of his memories of the older's painful words which had poisoned his heart, because he didn't deserve them from the older after everything he had done for him.
 
          Yeonjun looked down at his own hands, feeling a bitter regret and guilt gnawing away at his heart and tearing it into pieces. His throat would tighten every time he would try to speak up and every word would die away on the tip of his tongue, his mind engulfed in a dense haze of remorse, "I-", he finally managed to utter out as he tried to cope with pressure in his throat, his regretful eyes travelling to the boy who was looking at him with a hidden interest swimming in his hazel orbs and a surge of surprise flashed across them as he watched the older boy struggle to speak, causing him to wonder if he was still dreaming or not, "I don't even know if I am supposed to thank you for saving me because my life wasn't worth it", Yeonjun blurted out and felt resistance assailing his mind as if it was trying to make him stop, causing his eyes to divert to his lap once more, and blankness didn't even reduce in Beomgyu's eyes even though the older's last words disturbed him really much, no one deserved to feel worthless no matter how much of a jerk they were, "Maybe it would have been better if you had let him-"