The Comeback Route -Book 1 Moss Bluff Series

Chapter 18

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Chapter 18

Quinn

I knew there was going to come a day where I would come face to face with Fitz and my decision was going to be questioned. I've thought long and hard about this moment and I think I've prepared myself to be raked over the coals for my choice. I knew he wasn't going to understand.

I just didn't think it would be this bad

Initially it wasn't bad. I saw him, he saw me and I think it was awkward for both of us. I mean the last time I talked to him he said I was better off without him and he was done with me anyway. Nothing awkward about that conversation. But then I took Hope from Beckett and I could literally see the pieces falling into place in his head.

One clink at a time he put it together. Looking at me then Hope. Her eyes big as bluebells, her hair just a shade lighter than his. She has my mouth and fair skin but I can see his smile in hers, I can see him.

He'd have to be an idiot not to know it. Hope looks just like him. There's no way he can't see the resemblance between them. A blind man could see it. And that's what scares me. I see it when that last piece of the picture falls into place for him but he isn't quite ready to admit the truth of it.

Maybe he fears that he's right, maybe dreading that I'll hold him responsible. Maybe he's afraid I'll want us to pretend to be one happy family. He's got nothing to fear from me, I made the choice to not tell him for a reason.

I didn't think he'd want us

So I've dreaded this day from the moment I walked away, not telling Fitz about Hope. I knew the day would come that I would have to deal with my decision and face Fitz. I knew he would be furious with me. More because of expectations he thinks I'll make on him than anything else.

I just thought I'd be more prepared for this moment.

I thought long and hard at the time to do what I thought was right for both of us. I even tried to talk to him a couple times but he either was too busy to talk to me or was busy with another girl wrapped around him. In a way he helped me make this choice by his actions and how he treated me.

I will never push a man to stay with me especially for a child.

I went back and forth with my decision from the moment I made it to last night. There are days when I'm absolutely positive I've made the right choice. Then there are days I know I've made the biggest mistake of my life. The only thing I've been completely certain of is that I had to do what was best for Hope.

I have to believe that is exactly what I did

Fitz wasn't in a good place to handle being a father. He was supposed to be getting ready to get drafted to the NFL. He had his whole life in front of him. When I learned I was pregnant Fitz was very clear he wanted nothing to do with me.

I wasn't going to force him to stick around because of a child. Not when I had the ability to care for my child and stand on my own two feet. I wouldn't let my child feel the kind of animosity that could grow from being held back from dreams. Those situations are ugly at best, abusive at worst. I've been there, I won't subject my child to that kind of hostility.

I should have known Georgia would manipulate the situation for us to run into each other sooner or later. I'm not mad at her and I'm not really surprised. It's not like she hasn't urged me to talk to him. It's not like she hasn't warned me about us running into each other asking me what I would say or how would I feel. I shouldn't be surprised or unprepared for this moment.